"alright so- CHASE DOWN MEW! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! INAI NAI TEKA CHOUSHI DOU? MITA KOTO NAI ANO POKEMON ZETTAI KATTE SONDE GETTO DA ZE! YUH
DOKO NI MO INAI SHI MAJIME NA HANASHI FUSHIGI NA ANO KO MAJI MABOROSHI? SAGASHITENAI BASHO NANTE NAKUNAI? DASHI! YADA MOU MURI KUNAI? TADA REBERU AGARU DAKE NONKI YOUKI MUJAKI NANDA TTE II NO! POKESEN? GEESEN? SASUGA NI INAI KA W "UNMEITE KI NA DEAI" KITAI SHITE “AIGACCHUU!"
me cause I don't have a record player, I don't have any vinyl records, I don't own all my favorite band albums, I don't have posters on my walls, I don't have an electric guitar in the corner of my room, I don't own a motorcycle, I don't have fingerless gloves that fit well, I don't have the clothes I want, I don't have a room with interesting colors, I don't have LED lights, I don't have fairy lights, I don't have a display case with all my stuff in it, I don't have a music cassette to put in my parent's old boombox, I don't know how to play the drums, I don't know how to write songs, I don't know how to do my makeup beyond eyeshadow and lipstick, and I'm really not nearly as cool as I think I am:
Fun fact: in hinduism, there's an actual DAY which says "nah fuck studying" and you're not allowed to study that day. It's called "kalamband" which litterally translates to "pen close"
REALLL like if you pick up a pen to study you have to endure your mother going "hey you know it's kalamband today you can't study" for the first time in your fucking life it's AMAZING. MAJORRR W
Me when I write a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but me cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again:
It's writing a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but it cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again.
So like Teen Wolf, right? It's a show that exists. Sterek, right? It's a ship in said show. Actually. The single most popular ship in the show. Actually. On ao3 it beats EVEN THE CHARACTER TAGS which is NOT a common thing. Like usually the top tag for a fandom is a character tag, but no, here it's THE SHIP STEREK.
Anyway- this is like this because like... I mean the evidence... let's just say it's understandable.
But the thing about this ship is that like- it is just so clearly queerbait, like they practically hand it to you on a silver platter, but for some reason the fandom is delusional and 100% convinced that it's totally queercoding.
Sterek is the slash ship between Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski. Derek Hale is a werewolf, Stiles is a regular degular guy. Both of their characters play off each other well since they contrast a little what with Stiles being an overcompensating know-it-all who uses sarcasm and humor to hide his insecurities and Derek being a stoic angry loner type who takes things a little too seriously. Because of this the characters were often paired for scenes and naturally the fandom started shipping them.
Then the show decided "hey... why don't we lean into this more."
So in season 2... wonderful, beautiful season 2... this lizard creature with the ability to paralyze people comes along. And... oh boy.
One scene worth pointing out is a scene where the lizard thing, called a Kanima, paralyzes both Derek and Stiles. In this scene, they JUST SO HAPPEN to fall ON TOP OF EACH OTHER, and it JUST SO HAPPENS that they fall in a particular manner in which Stiles is on top of Derek with his head on his shoulder and his chest on Derek's. They could've so easily had Stules fall NEXT TO Derek, or at least had him fall in a different position with less of a romantic connotation. But they didn't. And just to throw salt in the wound, the antagonist even says, when they demand that they no longer be on top of each other, that Derek and Stiles "make a pretty good pair"... I bet the writers room was fucking cackling.
Another very notable scene is one that's not played off as a joke unlike the first one. Derek is paralyzed, Stiles is not. The Kanima can't swim so there in the pool with it waiting outside, stalking them. Since Derek is paralyzed, Stiles has to be the one to keep him afloat in the pool so he doesn't drown. Derek mentions that Stiles is only keeping Derek alive out of necessity, basically saying that since Stiles is powerless he needs Derek to fight off the Kanima for him and that's the only reason he's keeping him afloat and not because he actually gives a shit. Stiles takes offense to this and so he leaves Derek and swims to shore to try to grab a phone to call for help. Stiles fails then goes back to save Derek from drowning. And... dude. He risked his life to prove to Derek that not only does he not need him to survive this, but also that he's not saving Derek out of any sort of necessity, no, he's saving Derek... because he actually fucking cares. And Derek has major trust issues so doing something like this, risking your life to prove you care, is like... dude. So obviously since this is an important character moment it's literally never brought up again and we move on from it and that's that. Sigh... of course.
Then in season 3, Stiles is now the antagonist. And up to this point Stiles and Derek's opinions on what to do with antagonists has been pretty much the same "why don't we just kill them" but now it's Stiles who's the antagonist and he's like "guys, if I lose myself completely, just kill me" because he's being possessed by the Nogitsune and isn't intentionally the antagonist ofc. But Derek, a man who has, up until this point, been pretty okay with murder, is suddenly like "guys no matter what, we can't kill Stiles"... what's with the switch up Derek... why are we changing opinions now? His change in behavior toward this is never addressed.
The other seasons continue with pretty much similar type shit. Derek and Stiles are often paired up for scenes. There are fleeting moments of mentioning how weird their relationship is, certain scenes that just seem so questionable that the directors and writers could've easily cut out or changed, and just thing after thing that is so clearly gay but also... not.
Then in the last season of the show, Stiles gets with Lydia Martin, a character he has been shown to be attracted to but up until now she hasn't really shown much reciprocation for these feelings except for fleeting moments. The relationship feels a little shoehorned in at the last season for fanservice. Then that was the end of it.
...until 2023 of course.
In 2023 they decided "hey guys why don't we do a movie" and everyone agreed except for the actor for Stiles. So the movie goes on without him. In the movie Stiles is clearly absent and this is explained in the movie by him being part of the FBI. This makes sense character wise and story wise.
We see in the movie that Derek now has a child. Who is the mother of said child? 🤷♀️. But I do know this. According to the casting director, the actor chosen for the child was chosen because he "reminded me of Stiles"... the actor for Derek's child... was picked because he reminded the casting director of Stiles... ha... haha...
Stiles's car is also in the movie. It's with Derek now. Yeah. And uh Derek is overprotective... of the car. One of the characters even states outwardly "that car meant a lot to Derek"... yeah... the car is what we're talking about here... sure.
This movie reads like fanfiction... and I don't think that's a coincidence.
We already know all the scenes and questionable choices that happened in the show, but to really make it clear why this is so queerbait we need to go behind the camera. Back to the Teen Wolf show.
During the Teen Choice Awards each show nominated was tasked with making a short video convincing teens to vote for them to win. Teen Wolf's video had... the actors for Stiles and Derek... sitting on a ship... practically all over each other... saying basically "vite for Teen Wolf and you might get to see our characters do more stuff like this"... 😰
I don't think I need to explain when I say that is just so clearly a queerbait move. Making an empty promise of queer rep in exchange for something that would get the creators of Teen Wolf more money... yeah that's literally queerbait. The definition of it actually.
Fast forward to the movie. Whenever it comes to Derek and Stiles the cast and crew and such always say things that are just bordering on gay, but never explicitly saying it. And this is in 2023. They're not gonna explode if they say the word gay on screen. But it's always avoidant of the topic it's always just shy of screaming gay, they can never quite say it. It's almost like... almost like they don't actually care and just want the money so they're giving the shippers crumbs while never giving them a full meal so they don't lose their homophobic audiences... but no that can't possible be... can it?
Yes it can. Yes it is. Sterek si the single most obvious clear as day representation of queerbait I have ever seen in my life and yet the random and shipper are either blissfully ignorant or just so so oblivious to the reality of the matter. Why do the creators always dance around the topic of Sterek? Why do the writers add unnecessary scenes that are a little odd to say the least only to then forget about those scenes and never bring them up again? Why do the directors shoot some scenes in specific questionable ways that are never directly addressed? Because it's all a big fat lie. A lie that everyone fell for, hook line and sinker.
No the dates may be different but it always comes in the same season according to the Hindu calander at the kartik amavasya which is the new moon of the season of kartik(spetember end-october end if I'm not mistaken I might have to ask my mother) so kinda
ooo okay how the fuck do i explain this cause you'd have to know alot about hindu mythology(dear god im forced to call it a mythology) first of all- help i feel the need to js explain the entire ramayana to you because the online sources get it so wrong and i practically CAN'T get it wrong because 1.My mother is going to kill me if i get something wrong 2.we litterally HAVE the reprint of the ORIGINAL book in our house so.
I literally failed so miserably I can't even rn. The dude next to me kept looking at my paper and cheating from me and I'm just like "dude... I don't think you wanna do that"
weird sensations i never knew I'd experience, part 1: remember how i chipped part of my two front teeth? yeah uh. I now understand what my teacher meant when she said that teeth have nerves inside them. Because now everytime i eat or drink something i feel this very weird..oddly-sweet(?) sensation on(?) my teeth and it's like my body's saying "ayo tf? how is the food TOUCHING the nerves?" yeah uh, sorry body, thats kinda on me :upsidedown-face:
if somebody tells me one more fucking time that "nobody's going to notice" i will actually jump is2g do you KNOW the kids in my class?? knowing them I'll probably get bullied till the day i DIE and plus i look so bad too i wouldnt even blame them cause i'd want to bully myself for looking like this too real yeah so i think im just going to become Komi now. i already look like her(minus the pale skin cause im not Japanese) so i think i'll just ocmmunicate with a notebook until i meet my tadano :disappointed-relieved:
Real like last time I remember I got bullied for liking anime by this little nerd ass bitch who's like half my height and I could probably punt him to the sun
ITS CANON!?????!/1?!?!?!?!??!?!?!/!?!?!/1/1?!?1//1/!?!?(well no it isnt cause ik you assagiri BUT STILL HOLY SHIT?)
oh my god OH MY GOD OHMYGODOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGM ITS CANOCNONAONCOASNO NOANSCO THANK YOU HOSHIKAWA-SAN!11!!!!1!(and asagiri but im still salty abt the new chapters)
well it IS Bungou stray dogs (but the Dazai, Chuuya, 15 opne) but js so yknow they arent actually canon but this manga panel is canon which makes it borderline canon.
Yea just bruised and a couple of scratches. No severe injuries or anything. My bruises hurt pretty bad but I was able to limit the swelling and they're not very clear so from the outside looking in as long as you ignore the plaster, it's like nothing ever even happened. Still hurts but whatever, the pain should go in about 3 days maybe 4 because school might force me to walk and be more active which can make the bruise worse.
I love how this is me everytime any sort of traumatic event happens to me: haha lol someone broke into my house while I was in the bathroom lmao, it's a good thing they didn't check in there, would hate for them to catch me with my pants down haha get it? Get it? I know I'm crying from pure terror, ignore that, is the joke funny or not?
The depression brings about whimsy because it's the only thing that keeps me from totally falling apart.
it didn't actually happen. I don't think. Just my brain hearing noises outside and going "Yep that's someone here to kill you." It happens dw no one broke in
But I definitely did think someone did and I even texted my friend while crying 100% convinced I was gonna die. And I made that exact same joke. About getting caught with my pants down. I actually made multiple jokes. A concerning amount for someone who thought they were about to die.
Lowkey I hate the fact that I had to verify my email again
Cus I use my mother's phone and her email storage was full so when I cleared all that itch just hit me with a "Hey girlie!☺️ You're not getting your account back."
SO I HAD TO MAKE A NEW ONE AND SPENT LIKE 1000+ HOURS LOOKING FOR THIS GROUP AGAIN FROM THE OLD COMMENTS ON MGM BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE IT BOOKMARKED ON CHROME
WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT PNEUMONIA LIKE "oh yeah it was nothing" BRO PNEUMONIA CAN BE FATAL (I say like that isn't literally the exact way I talked about that one time I almost died)
im fine reallyy it wasnt that bad oh elon musk removed the like option so now everyone's using different versions of the MII "Yeah!" thing and i keep seeing the hatsune miku version..
I'm sure you can already tell, but I am not doing good! In fact, I'm doing very very shit rn! School is kicking my ass, the ACTs are kicking my ass, my entire life is kicking my fucking ass.
So, needless to say, I am this fucking close to losing my shit, but it's okay! I can always go find it later! Anyway, I need to go scream and cry into my pillow for the next hour.
It is really difficult to resist the urge to be mean sometimes.
Like the other day my class was in the gc talking about colors for our senior uniform next year (the seniors get a specialized uniform and other perks and such) and I was trying to push for a CMYK color pallette but my class pretty much ignored my existence so whatever, I stopped caring and let them decide amongst themselves. They're big boys they can deal with it.
That's when someone privately messaged me. This bitch named Karma who was all like "I'm sure you know who I am" like- okay, whatever, Karma. And she's all like "did you vote for the uniform color?" So I said no.
She then said to look at the colors and see which one I liked best, and the contest was between these two colors, blue and purple. I went blue because I like it more than purple and if I'm pushing for CMYK, it is in my interest to pick the blue. I tell her this and she's like "oh but... don't you wanna pick the purple though?"
Oh is that what this is? You're not being all nice to me and asking if I voted because you actually care. You just want me to vote for the one you want. Okay, Karma. Fine. I'll vote for the purple if it'll make you shut the fuck up.
Is what I would have said if I wasn't trying to be nice. So I just went "okay purple ig" and voted purple. Then ignored her "thank you" message cause, frankly, you couldn't pay me to give a shit.
I had to actively resist calling every single one of my classmates brain dead assholes yesterday. They're all actually so annoying and I could keep telling stories about how much they piss me off, but I think you get the point.
If only saying "how the fuck did you make it past third grade" was okay.
Me when the show has SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be SO GOOD but the writers are just so fucking terrible-
Miraculous Ladybug (at this point the show is a joke and it kills me that it could've been a lot more than what it is)
Voltron (imagine killing all your characters both metaphorically and physically and the only characters you didn't kill are characters who were hardly even characters in the first place)
Star vs the Forces of Evil (sigh... no comment.)
Glee (as much as this show is... certainly a show and everyone loves to shit on it you can't deny that the idea itself COULD have been actually good)
Stranger Things (needs a whole essay by itself cause... yikes)
I'm going to preface this essay by saying, I have not read any of the books except for screenshots from people who actually have them, so this essay is strictly going to be about the show and maybe like... five book pages idk-
Spoilers, duh. But the essay is better if you haven't watched the show, but don't read it if you're ever planning to. This is like majorly important plot spoilers.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Old Man McGucket. The crazy old guy who actually turns out to have a hell of a lot of plot relevance in a crazy twist that was foreshadowed in a way that people generally overlooked as "crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show". Wait a minute...
(vine boom goes here)
Yeah, McGucket and Simon are pretty similar for multiple reasons. But we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about the incredibly dark reality of Old Man McGucket. A man who didn't lose his mind, but instead, locked it away himself.
THE SHOW:
We are introduced to McGucket in the second episode of the first season, The Legend of the Gobblewonker. Grunkle Stan drags Dipper and Mabel to go fishing with him, as they're there, they see this crazy old man screaming about something called a "Gobblewonker" a strange Loch Ness Monster type creature that hides out on a mysterious island off the shore. Everyone calls him crazy, but Dipper and Mabel decide to go hunt down this Gobblewonker and take a picture of it to win a photo contest, ditching Grunkle Stan in the process. Eventually they learn that the "Gobblewonker" isn't actually real, but instead a robot made by the crazy old guy at the start in order to get attention from his son. This crazy old guy is Old Man McGucket.
Immediately from this first episode intro we learn a couple of things about Old Man McGucket. He has a son, who is never mentioned ever again in the show. His wife left him. He has a knack for machinery. He's generally viewed as crazy by the characters, and, let's be honest... he is. Now immediately you have a couple of questions. Why is this crazy old guy a robot genius? He doesn't seem like a mad scientist type, more like a hillbilly. So what's up with that? Good question. Keep that in your pocket for now.
For the rest of the season McGucket never really shows up in any prominent roles. He's really just a crazy old hillbilly prospector-y guy who just so happens to be pretty good with machines. It's not really questioned. It is brought up multiple times, but otherwise ignored. So, whatever. Crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show, right? Well not this crazy shenanigans show, because, ultimately, Gravity Falls is made for theorists and mystery solvers. Encoded messages. Hidden clues. Itty bitty details that all allude to the bigger picture. The solution to the question... what is going on in Gravity Falls? That and who wrote The Journals, but that's not the point.
The point is that the Gravity Falls fandom is full of people who look into every little detail to solve mysteries. So McGucket being good with machines? No way that's just a crazy shenanigan.
So, what do we know about the author of the journals? He had six fingers. He was good with machines. He's probably been in Gravity Falls for a while. And Journal 3 is his last journal he was writing before he mysteriously... stopped.
McGucket fits two of those. Good with machines and lived in Gravity Falls for a while. But... we can reasonably make him fit the other two. Six fingers? His right arm is in a cast. Maybe he used to have six fingers, maybe something happened. Writing mysteriously stopped? McGucket is repeatedly shown to be basically insane so... maybe that's why he stopped writing the journals. Because something so horrific and terrible happened to him that he lost his mind, and so he stopped writing. That's it. All the signs point to-
Oh. Nevermind then.
Now that the theory is no longer that McGucket is the author of the journals, and instead it's Stan's secret twin brother... then who is McGucket?
For that... we need to look at season 2.
Specifically the episodes 2, 4, and 7.
Season 2, episode 2, Into the Bunker is partially an episode about Dipper's crush on Wendy and partially a lore episode. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy head on an adventure to find the author of the journals's secret hideout, which is apparently in a tree. They find it and make it in. While down there they find a shapeshifting monster that tries to kill them and steal Journal 3. They escape, trapping the monster in a cryochamber and immediately leaving the secret hideout. On the way out, Soos managed to grab what he thought was a briefcase. As it turns out, the "briefcase" was, in fact, an only slightly wrecked laptop with the words "Property of F" written at the top. Soos says he can fix it and that's the episode. (Minus Wendy and Dipper stuff)
Season 2, episode 4, Sock Opera. Soos has finally fixed the laptop so now all Dipper and Mabel need to do is open it and they'll figure it all out. The author of the journals, the secrets of Gravity Falls, all of it at the click of a button! Exceepptt the laptop is unfortunately password locked. An eight letter word is between them and... essentially, everything the show has built up toward. Mabel gets distracted making a sock opera to impress a boy, and in an act of desperation, Dipper makes a deal with Bill Cipher, the main antagonist of the entire show, for a vessel in exchange for the password to the laptop. Bill takes over Dipper's body and immediately smashes the laptop thereby destroying any chance of opening it and we never find out the password. Bill is defeated in the end, but the laptop is destroyed and they're no closer to finding the author of the journals than before. Or are they? (Vsauce music starts)
Season 2. Episode 7. Society of the Blind Eye. We open on Lazy Susan closing up the diner. We see her kick out some rats, and Old Man McGucket from underneath a table, then on her way out she sees the gnomes from episode one stealing her pie. She's shocked, startled, bamboozled, but before she can really react a bunch of people wearing red coats just... take her away. Then the opening plays.
We're back to Mabel and Dipper trying to find the author of the journals, and upon closer inspection of the destroyed laptop that supposedly belonged to the author, they see a branding thing on it. This little piece of metal that says "McGucket Labs" so they piece together that McGucket could be the author of the journals. His first name is Fiddleford (I think this is the first time we learn that in the show), and the laptop says "Property of F", and all the evidence adds up. Of course, most of the fandom by now has moved on from the McGucket theory. So there's no way that's all there is to this episode. Of course not. That'd be incredibly stupid and a huge waste of time covering this episode.
So Mabel and Dipper go running to find McGucket. They find him with his house being vandalized by teens writing the words "Mc Suck-it" and McGucket promptly shooing them off his property. Dipper tells McGucket to drop the act and that he knows who he is, but McGucket says he hardly remembers anything. So they got to the last place he can recall in his memory which is the museum.
At the museum they discover a secret passageway which leads them to a secret meeting between a bunch of people in red robes. They all watch as the robed men erase Lazy Susan's memory of the gnomes with some weird looking ray gun. They conclude that the weird robed guys are the reason McGucket can't remember anything. That they did something to him to make him the way he is. So they resolve to find McGucket's memories and bring them back so he can remember everything.
After fighting the Blind Eye Society and then erasing all their memories of the society ever existing, they finally go to watch McGucket's memories and figure out everything that happened. And this... is where everything is revealed.
They play the memories, and we see a young man on screen. He's wearing glasses, a blazer and tie, and looks to be of good health and sound mind. He introduces himself as Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. He explains that he, for the past year, has been helping this scientist, the author of the journals, build some kind of... machine. But... something went wrong. Something terrible. So terrible that it haunts McGucket every day. So he invented something. Something to erase this terrible memory of what he helped build. The ray gun that the Blind Eye Society used. The very first thing he erases from his mind is erased right in front of us. He erases... "Fiddleford". The very first thing McGucket took away from his own brain... is himself.
We watch him come up with the Society of the Blind Eye. A society made to help people forget the terrible things they've seen. To help everyone live in blissful ignorance of what's really going on in Gravity Falls. The zombies. The gnomes. Everything.
We watch as McGucket erases more of his memories. We watch him get older, we watch his hair grey, we watch his beard grow, his glasses break and eventually disappear. We watch as he starts to forget words, talk faster. We watch him progressively lose his mind more and more. We watch him erase his own memories... to the point of no return. No one did this to McGucket. He did this to himself.
But... what happened to drive him to such drastic measures? What made him become so paranoid and so scared that he locked his memories away in hopes of never thinking about it again? What did McGucket see?
For that... we need to go back. Way back.
FIDDLEFORD HADRON MCGUCKET:
Fiddleford McGucket. Grew up on a hog farm in Tennessee with, well, not exactly what you call a lot of money.
He was, however, skilled in mechanics, and was pretty smart, which got him into Backupsmore University in the mid-1970s where he met Stanford Pines. The author of the journals and the twin brother of Stanley Pines. After he graduated he made his own computer business called "Fiddleford Computermajigs" but in the middle of his work he received a call from Ford saying he needed a mechanical genius to help him build a transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex in his basement in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Fiddleford agrees, leaving his wife and son behind.
From then on, Fiddleford was Ford's research assistant. He helped Ford with all of his studies and any machine building needs, and even was so nice as to get him a Christmas present, yet forgot to get one for his actual wife. By the way, the password to his laptop, the one found in the bunker, was "Stanford" which is certainly a choice. But we're not here to talk about doomed old man yaoi, back to the normal conversation.
So, while Fiddleford was working with Ford, a Gremloblin, half goblin, half gremlin, attacks Fiddleford staring him right in the eyes which makes him see his worst nightmare. We don't actually know what Fiddleford saw in the Gremloblin's eyes. But we do know how it affected him. In the physical copy of Journal 3 we learn more. Stanford writes that he's been worried about Fiddleford since his encounter with the Gremloblin, saying that he hasn't slept or even fixed his Rubik's Cube since then. He tells Fiddleford to "use his creativity to solve his problems" intending to talk about meditation and such, but as we know... Fiddleford didn't quite take it like that. He used his creativity alright. He used it to build the mind eraser gun. Soon enough Fiddleford started to rely on the gun for everything. Every bad memory, every painful experience, everything he just didn't want to think about anymore. It worked like a drug, and boy, was Fiddleford an addict.
When Ford confronted him, Fiddleford, instead of dealing with his problems, simply erased Ford's memory of the gun entirely so he could use it freely without Ford knowing. Ford, of course, already wrote about the gun in the journal, so while he forgot about it, it was written down so he knew it existed. It's also implied that Fiddleford used the gun multiple times on Ford.
Nonetheless construction continues on the transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex. During a test run where they sent a dummy into the metavotrex, Fiddleford's leg got caught on the rope and he was therefore dragged through the metavortex, seeing the other side briefly before Ford saved him.
Once he emerged, Ford asked what he saw and Fiddleford immediately told Ford that the portal was in fact dangerous and he never should've built it in the first place. He said it would bring about the end of the world and to "fear the beast with just one eye"
What? This guy? He's a floating dorito chip, I'm sure he's harmless...
(He's wanted in the entire multiverse.)
So, Fiddleford quits the project saying he'd "just as soon forget" and so... he erased his mind of what he saw on the other side of the portal. And he started... the society of the blind eye. In Journal 3, Ford writes about how he's had weird dreams of Fiddleford looming in the dark with a red robe on, and he wonders if they were really just dreams. Fiddleford has probably erased a lot from Ford's mind and plenty of the townsfolk, but to no degree near what he's erased from his own mind.
It only got worse. And worse. And worse. Until he, of course, became the Old Man McGucket we see at the start of the show. Of course, he still retains just a little bit of his former identity, before he became what he is. This shows in his skill with mechanical engineering, and also his knowledge of things like the Gobblewonker. Even in this... state, he can't ever truly forget everything he's tried so hard to.
Fiddleford went through a great trauma that left him mentally unwell, and how did he cope? By shoving it all into a high security prison in the corner of his mind where he never had to think about any of it ever again. This of course is a terrible coping mechanism because, none of it is actually ever gone... it's just hidden from view. And it'll never be fully gone of course, but shoving it away only makes it worse, like prisoners working out and getting super buff in prison.
All of this damaged McGucket's brain so badly that the memory gun couldn't even be used on him anymore. That's how bad it got.
In The Book Of Bill, Bill actually talks about an attempt to possess Fiddleford. And this... is what urged me to write this essay. Bill Cipher, the person who literally laughs at pain, like literally laughs, he enjoys it, went into Fiddleford's mind and he says that he's never been in a mind so damaged, so broken, so shattered beyond repair, that it actually hurt. And, in his words, "for the first time, I felt a pain that wasn't funny."
Bill Cipher, the guy who finds great pleasure in being a manipulative asshole and TORTURING PEOPLE, said this. The unimaginable pain and suffering McGucket must be going through, the torture that was inflicted on him as well as the torture he inflicted upon himself... it was so bad, that not even Bill Cipher could laugh. What was originally just a crazy old guy with possible ties to the Author... turned out to be a deeply damaged and traumatized man.
This is the most tragic character in Gravity Falls. I don't even know how to end this essay... I can't even make a joke.
I really need to finish reading Hitchiker's Guide because it's melting my brain with thoughts of it and yet I still haven't picked the book up in days.
i might babble a bit too much but i can NOT get over this performance. well the entire tour itself, but the iconic 1989 tour in 2014-2015. honestly this WAS her best vocal tour recorded. not eras, not reputation, not speak now, not red, and not fearless, but 1989 honestly will always be my favorite vocal concert of taylor’s. her voice was so young but so STRONG at the same time, and sadly she did hurt her vocals to make such rough notes while she sang at this concert but like
this just proves WHY people call her the music industry. she was only 26, and she was singing CRAZY vocals, and with only FIVE albums released. either way, she had been making records SINCE 2007 when she released debut. literally 2009 and she’s selling out STADIUMS for her second album, and she was TWENTY. insane, it will always blow my mind. but let’s focus on 1989 rn
so 1989 era was really a handful, since during it she went through her ED, and she was JUST beginning to release her pop music, like 1989 was her first pop album after doing mostly country for 8 years. but the concert oh my GOD i would’ve died if i could’ve gone…my cousin went she calls it a fuckin’ fever dream dude 😭, like yes, movie/documentary is VERY badly edited and all but like
the VOCALS people, the VOCALS.
take example one of her most iconic performances till this fucking day
like wow, it never fails to actually shock me to how good she sounds. this was the best bridge before any of her newer albums came out, but the way she sings so loud and so powerful is just like chilling everytime i listen to it
i could write an essay based on this fucking performance SOLEY, THATS how good it is. not a lot of singers are labeled; “THE music industry” at the age of 26. and since then, she’s maintained that title with other amazing albums…she recorded NINE albums in FIVE years while touring and filming TWO documentaries. that is WHAT the music industry does. but 1989 era oh my god what a time that was
don’t even get me started on reputation and eras tour like those
they literally
like.
wow.
mind boggling.
but yeah she’s my favorite artist for a reason lmao 😭
Oh wow, the character limit is like my biggest enemy rn, but I just need confirmation. Listen, I need you to read the two essays I wrote and tell me if they're good enough for me to make a commentary channel on yt or if I should stick to keeping my essays here or to myself. It's just that I have so many things I wanna talk about and so many ideas and stuff so I was thinking of doing one of those commentary channel things that mostly focuses on fandom content and fandom spaces yk- but idk if I'm that good at wording my essays. Obviously they would be better if I didn't have the character limit restrictions but just as they stand now are they good or absolute shit.
I wanted to do a wlw ship for part 3 of the "its gay" series but I'm struggling so hard with finding a good one because
1. I have to know and like the ship
2. It can't be canon because that's not what I'm here to talk about
3. It has to have something to it that I can write a full essay about
Finding an mlm ship like that is so easy. I can do it right now. Johnlock, Hilson, Hannigraham, Spirk, Wrightworth, Riddlebird(Gotham). I could do this in my sleep.
But finding a wlw ship like that is like finding a needle in a haystack except it's a really small haystack and also there are no needles in it. Every mainstream wlw ship is either canon or I don't know or like it. And if I do happen to find one that isn't canon and I do like it it's hardly anything worth a full essay.
I could talk about Morgwen but I've already discussed a BBC Merlin ship yk. I think I might just give up looking and cover Johnlock like I originally planned.
Just the difference in the frequency between mainstream mlm ships and mainstream wlw ships. There are significantly more mlm ships and they are always significantly more popular than wlw ships. Good job, everyone, misogyny at it's finest.
BBC seems to have a track record of taking existing IPs and making them uh... suddenly a lot... gayer. Sherlock and Merlin, like, jeez guys, wtf. (BBC Sherlock might be covered in part 3 maybe)
Merlin was released in 2008, ending in 2012 with one of the most devastating finales ever to exist. More devastating than Supernatural (spn fans don't come at me).
It's especially devastating with the most popular ship of the show. It's actually so queercoded it's crazy. (PS, been a while since I've watched the show so my memory may be fuzzy)
Merthur:
Let's talk about Merthur. The slash ship between Merlin and Arthur Pendragon.
At the start of the show, Merlin, a young sorcerer, is sent to the kingdom of Camelot by his mother. There he meets Arthur Pendragon, prince of Camelot, heir to the throne, and supreme asshole, being a dick to someone. Merlin jumps in to stop this and tells Arthur that's enough, but Arthur is just like "Do I know you?" And so Merlin is like "you're right, you don't, I wouldn't associate with an asshole like you" and uh... well Arthur replies with... the single gayest thing he could've said... ever.
Okay, calm down, sir.
Obviously that isn't what he meant, but I mean... like, come on- just this entire interaction because Merlin replies that he wouldn't wanna do that and Arthur says why, and Merlin says "you have no idea what I'm gonna do to you" and GUYS CAN WE STOP BEING GAY FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS
Not to mention that they're, what, INCHES away from each other. Guys now is NOT the time.
Anyway, Merlin tries to punch Arthur and is very easily taken down and sent to the dungeon for trying to punch the future king of Camelot. Gaius, the court physician and also the person Merlin is staying with while he's in Camelot, gets him out of there.
He meets Guinevere, the maid of Lady Morgana, the king's ward, and she tells him that standing up to Arthur was brave, but it's a good thing they didn't fight because he would've lost, Merlin says he could've totally beat up Arthur and she says "you don't look like one of those big muscle-y men" HA HA SHE CALLED HIM A TWINK. Keep Guinevere in mind. Gwen.
Anyway, magic is illegal in Camelot, so Merlin's sorcerer stuff needs to be kept under wraps. Magic is totally not an allegory for anything else at all.
Merlin and Arthur meet again, and they're back to being very gay. Arthur aks how Merlin's "knee-walking" is coming along and says he could "take you apart in one blow" and Merlin replies "I could take you apart with less than that" okay, guys, there are children present. You might wanna tone it down a little.
I know they're technically arguing here, but... this entire scene should just have a gay flag overlay because seriously wtf is this. You just... have to watch it. It's so gay it almost hurts. It is actually gayer than gay sex.
So anyway later on Merlin goes into a cave under the castle where the last dragon alive is being held and he talks to this dragon who tells him that he's destined to be Arthur's boyfriend- I mean destined to help Arthur save the kingdom. Yeah. There we go. The dragon specifically says that Arthur is "the once and future king who will save Albion." Merlin is upset at this and is like "nuh uh, that guy's a dick, you're a lying ass dragon" so the dragon peaces out, explaining absolutely nothing to Merlin, or the audience, as he calls out after it. Fun.
Anyway fancy dinner party time, Lady Morgana enters and all eyes turn to look at her. Merlin too and though he seems to think she looks good and even compliments her, it's not exactly too big of a reaction in contrast to Arthur's reaction. Though we can assume "well that's just Arthur" in light of how the scene plays out, Merlin's reaction seems a little tame. (Gay ass mf)
At the fancy dinner party some lady tries to assassinate Arthur and Merlin saves his life. Because of this, Uther, Arthur’s father, tells Merlin he must be rewarded for this. How does he reward Merlin? By making him Arthur's manservant, of course! Yay episode one over!
So now Merlin is Arthur's manservant and in this like knight battle thingy he has to help Arthur get into his armor before the battle and clean his armor after it. Merlin was at first annoyed at being ordered around by Arthur, but eventually we see him smiling and even talking to Arthur like his friend. Arthur obviously replies to all this with more orders for Merlin because he's still Arthur. The point is, Merlin is warming up to the situation he's in.
He finds out about ANOTHER plot to kill Arthur in the battle thing. So he's set on stopping it. This guy is bringing the snakes drawn on his shield to life so they can bite and kill Arthur in the final battle. Before he can do this, Merlin finds out and cuts one of the snakes' head off taking it to Arthur as proof.
Arthur doesn't believe him at first but Merlin says "I know I'm just a servant and my word doesn't matter but I would never lie to you" Arthur tells him to swear it and so Merlin does and Arthur believes him.
So they go in front of the king to accuse this guy of using magic but little do they know he actually knows they know so he killed the only credible witness to the snakes meaning the accusation had no legs to stand on other than a snake head. This makes Arthur look like he's trying to get out of the battle with this guy, basically he looks like a coward.
So he gets mad at Merlin, saying he trusted him and that he's sacking Merlin for a servant he can actually trust. Their first break up. 😔
Merlin goes to the dragon like "bitch, now I know you're a lying ass dragon, there's no way it's my destiny to protect this guy, he hates me." Then the dragon is like "a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole" wow, describing Merlin and Arthur as two halves of the same whole. That's hetero. Okay well, arguably, it could be hetero in the sense that I could say that abt my best friend, but just the dragon like "you and Arthur’s paths lie together" I mean... come on.
Anyway Merlin goes ahead and saves Arthur’s life for the second time. Get used to this. Arthur then tells Merlin he made a mistake by firing him and that he wants him back as his manservant. Arthur doesn't know Merlin saved him btw cause he saved him with magic and magic is illegal. Regardless, Arthur here, though he admits to being wrong, doesn't really say sorry. Most likely because he's emotionally constipated, a nice gift from his father.
I think you get the point by now. Over the course of the episodes we see Merlin and Arthur grow closer. Merlin repeatedly saving Arthur, sometimes even at the risk of his own life and Arthur becoming less of a prat. Also... so... so much eye sex. Like... an unbelievable amount of eye sex...
Btw Guinivere is implied to have a crush on Merlin at the start of the show, with the way she acts around him and such. Merlin however is more casual when it comes to their interactions. He's not flirting or anything he's just being Merlin. (Gay ass mf.)
In one episode Merlin falls deathly ill. Guinevere and Arthur are extremely worried and the only antidote is in a very dangerous cave and so Arthur is like "I volunteer as tribute!" But his dad is like "no way, you're the prince, you're not risking your life for a mere SERVANT." And Arthur is just like "uhm, actually, I think I will" so he goes to the cave anyway, and Merlin EVEN IN HIS COMATOSE STATE SENSES THAT ARTHUR NEEDS HIS HELP so he summons a glowing orb to light Arthur's way through the cave. So Arthur gets the antidote and gets it back to Gaius and leaves, probably to get an earful from his dad. Merlin wakes up to Gwen and Gaius and Gwen immediately kisses him because she's just so relieved he's alive. She apologizes and Merlin says "it's okay" then immediately after this episode the Merlin/Guinevere storyline is dropped. (Wow, Merlin, pretty gay of you)
Let's recap, after however many times Merlin has risked his own life to save Arthur’s, Arthur is now RISKING HIS LIFE FOR MERLIN'S. He's also shown to be one of the people who are MOST worried about Merlin, and this cast of characters includes, Gwen who's implied to be crushing on Merlin and Gaius who's literally his caretaker and is like a parent to him. And Merlin and Arthur’s souls are SO intertwined that even WHILE COMATOSE they can sense when the other is in danger.
Arthur also isn't there to watch Merlin wake up and doesn't even tell Merlin that he's the one who saved his life. What an emotionally constipated bitch. But you see at the start of the show Arthur would never and I mean NEVER have risked his own life for a servant's. And this positive change in Arthur is BECAUSE OF MERLIN.
Now that the Merlin/Guinevere has been dropped, we move along to Arthur/Guinevere. So Arthur and Guinevere talk and Guinevere gives Arthur a piece of her mind then quickly apologizes and Arthur’s like "no, it's fine, no one's ever talked to me like that" and... Arthur... MERLIN has talked to you like that. MULTIPLE TIMES. 🤨
The dragon repeatedly tells Merlin that he and Arthur are "two sides of the same coin" and other such prophetic stuff about how they're gay for each other.
Not only would either of them recklessly THROW THEMSELVES INTO DANGER for the other, but Merlin even made the CONSCIOUS DECISION to make sure Arthur NEVER LEGALIZES MAGIC THE ONE THING THAT HAS BEEN CAUSING MERLIN THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF SUFFERING OVER THE COURSE OF THE ENTIRE SHOW JUST FOR THE SAKE OF ARTHUR. HE WOULD THROW AWAY SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS THAT IF IT MEANT ARTHUR WAS SAFE.
When king Uther dies, in a later episode his ghost is summoned and he and Arthur talk. Uther runs his mouth about Gwen, Arthur’s literal actual wife, and Arthur is upset at this ofc, but when Uther so much as utters ONE WORD about MERLIN, Arthur is immediately like "now you done did it" and GETS RID OF HIS FUCKING GHOST. Not because he talked about Gwen or ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. Because he talked about MERLIN.
I must clarify, I don't think this means Arthur doesn't love Gwen, because he does (bisexual ass mf), but is Gwen the one whose destiny is intertwined with his? Uh, I don't think so.
In an episode, Merlin is upset, and all he does is WALK INTO THE ROOM and Arthur is immediately like "what's wrong?" and trying to cheer him up.
In another episode, Merlin is in danger and Arthur WAKES UP IN A COLD SWEAT WITH HIS ACTUAL FUCKING WIFE (Gwen) NEXT TO HIM AND THE FIRST WORD OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS MERLIN'S NAME. AND THEN HE JUST FUCKING LEAVES TO GO FIND HIM.
When your husband wakes up from his sleep out of nowhere, saying his manservants name then immediately running out to go find him like you aren't even there: 🤨🏳️🌈?
By the way, once again with the SENSING WHEN THE OTHER IS IN DANGER. Like... come on.
Merlin has become less of a manservant for Arthur and more of one of the only people he can trust. His closest confidante. Someone he can rely on and he hopes can rely on him.
For Merlin, Arthur becomes less of a prat he's destined to protect and more of someone he cares about deeply and would go to any length to protect. Someone he would do anything for not because he has to, but because he just cares that much.
But through all of that there's still that one problem. That one thing they can't talk about, at least not normally. Because of certain laws.
Magic = Gay?:
In this world, magic was outlawed by king Uther because people were using magic for evil purposes (because magic killed his grandma, okay!) This caused the kingdom to be a little not okay. So basically a bunch of people with magic were trying to assassinate Arthur because of this law, because they don't want the law to continue so if the Pendragon bloodline ends hopefully the next king will be better and get rid of the rule.
Magic itself, in this world, is not something you can do unless you're born with it except for certain types like potions and stuff. But to do magic from your own two hands by yourself that you have to be born with. You don't get a say in it, you're just born with magic. And this magic isn't just something you have, no, it's a part of you. It's who you are. Merlin even says "if I can't use magic I might as well die". Magic is something personal to the user and with it being outlawed everyone with magic is forced to hide away a part of themselves. To lock it away and make sure no one sees such a dangerous disgusting side of who they are. But... magic, when used for the right reasons, isn't dangerous or disgusting at all. The actions of the few of magic users who did bad things created a punishment that affected all magic users. That forced them to live their lives agreeing with others on how terrible magic is when, behind closed doors, they can make objects float and bring statues to life.
Lady Morgana, remember her? She has magic. At the start of the show she didn't actually know she had it, but she does. We're shown her repeatedly talking to Gwen about men and mostly men. But the way she talks about it is surface level and superficial like a teenager with a boyfriend that'll last for a week before he's dumped. Meanwhile it seems as though she cares about Gwen herself deeper than that, than those superficial feelings she talks about.
Merlin is shown to not really have a lot of interest in women despite the kiss with Gwen and one scene with Morgana, but even then he's pretty... tame about it. He rarely has any sort of love interest type scenes with women. In fact half the men who get introduced in the show that Merlin becomes close with seem more like love interests than the women.
All of this seems a little... familiar. That's right, folks. Magic is an allegory for being gay. Lady Morgana is a lesbian (another win for the sapphics)!
And this is the one thing that Merlin can't tell Arthur about. The one thing he has to keep from him. Because if Arthur knew what Merlin was... well... who knows. He can never tell him the truth. Unless he's forced to.
The Finale:
I would explain the entire episode but it's just not important to the point of this. (Well I mean maybe kind of but...... okay it's complicated and like- just, I'm not gonna get into it) So let's get right into the important part. The ending.
Arthur is dying. And if Merlin doesn't get him to a very specific place very fast... Arthur isn't going to make it. So Merlin is determined to get it done no matter what. He carries the dying Arthur around on a horse all day. On the way the encounter a couple of fuckers who like hate the kingdom or something or other it is actually really not important uhm Lady Morgana is evil btw. So Merlin is forced to hide the fact that Arthur is a knight of Camelot, and also the fucking king. But the fuckers actually find out and they're about to attack them when Merlin uses magic to stop them. In front of Arthur. For the first time. After all this time. Arthur finally knows the truth. And in this scene Arthur isn't mad because Merlin has magic. He's mad because Merlin lied to him.
In Arthur's eyes this was a betrayal. The person he thought he could trust more than anyone else, the person he considered to be someone he could always rely on to tell the truth... has kept something so big from him all these years. Arthur isn't mad because Merlin has magic. That's not the part he's mad about. It's that Merlin didn't tell him.
They continue and encounter more fuckers along the way which they expertly avoid thanks to Merlin's magic and Arthur being the observant fellow he is recognizes that this isn't the first time Merlin's had to cover for Arthur.
When Arthur mentions this and mentions the fact that he never tried to take credit for what he did, covering Arthur's ass every time he did something stupid or someone tried to kill him, Merlin says that's not why he does it. He doesn't stick his neck out for Arthur for fame or glory. He did it for Arthur. Sure, you can reasonably make the argument that he did it cause he's a good person or cause it was his destiny, but the way he looks at Arthur in this scene and the way Arthur reacts. It's clearly not the intended meaning. What Merlin is saying here is "I did it all for you. Because I care about you and I don't want to see you hurt or worse, dead."
When night falls, Merlin and Arthur stop to rest.
Merlin tends to Arthur, giving hin water, trying to keep him alive as long as possible. Arthur starts speaking, saying "whatever happens-" before he's cut off by Merlin telling him not to speak. Arthur tells Merlin that he's the king and Merlin can't order him around, but Merlin says it's never stopped him before so why should he change now. Arthur replies to this with "I don't want you to change. I want you to always be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you." Arthur then falls asleep and Merlin tells him to get some rest, not replying to what Arthur just said but it's evident in his face that it affected him. This scene is also sponsored by too much eye sex to be hetero. (If you think I'm joking about how much eye sex they have... I wish I was)
Later they're just barely at their destination but Arthur is dying faster than Merlin can get him to where they're going, especially since the horses ran off.
So now Merlin is desperately trying to save Arthur and he's just in complete denial about the whole situation, trying to convince himself there's a way they can still make it, but Arthur just shuts him down. He tells him to stop and "just... hold me... please." This is Arthur’s only request as he's dying. For Merlin to just... hold him. Just... be there. That's all he wants.
He tells Merlin that he wants to say something to him before he dies. Especially now that he knows everything Merlin's done for him. He wants to say something he's never said to him before. "Thank you." And those are his last words as he finally dies and Merlin cries over him.
Except... wait. Arthur has said "thank you" to Merlin before. Maybe not often... but he said it. There are even compilations of it. Maybe the creators just forgot. Or...
Maybe this scene wasn't meant to end with "thank you".
Maybe this scene was meant to end with something the creators weren't allowed to say.
Maybe... Arthur was supposed to say... "I love you."
His dying breath, his last words are to Merlin and Merlin alone. No one else. Just Merlin. It was always Merlin.
Merlin screams begging for Arthur to wake up, and obviously he doesn't so Merlin calls on the dragon for help. When the dragon arrives it just tells Merlin "Arthur is the once and future king" emphasis on the "once" part. Arthur was always going to die. It was destined. And we were told it from the beginning. Arthur would die then rise again to save Albion when they need him most, centuries later. Then the dragon flies off leaving Merlin to deal with his grief.
We see Gwen become the only ruler on the throne since Arthur is now dead. She legalizes magic btw and fixes the kingdom kind of, but that's not important to this essay. (Love Gwen so much actually)
We cut to a timeskip. Centuries in the future. Present (2012) day. We see Merlin. He must've used magic to stay alive all these years. All these years. He stayed alive and waited. Waited for King Arthur to return. And he still waits. No matter how long it takes. For Arthur. The once and future king.
← Return to game
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
"GOT YOU!" is stuck in my head send help
"yo uh explain this question rq"
"alright so- CHASE DOWN MEW! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!
INAI NAI TEKA CHOUSHI DOU?
MITA KOTO NAI ANO POKEMON
ZETTAI KATTE SONDE GETTO DA ZE! YUH
DOKO NI MO INAI SHI MAJIME NA HANASHI
FUSHIGI NA ANO KO MAJI MABOROSHI?
SAGASHITENAI BASHO NANTE NAKUNAI? DASHI!
YADA MOU MURI KUNAI?
TADA REBERU AGARU DAKE
NONKI YOUKI MUJAKI NANDA TTE II NO!
POKESEN? GEESEN? SASUGA NI INAI KA W
"UNMEITE KI NA DEAI" KITAI SHITE
“AIGACCHUU!"
".. okay so how do i write that down."
"you're getting terminated, say goodbye."
vocaloid brainrot.
Real. Also add:
"Flower doesn't let me watch those shows.."
"What...FLOWER COME HERE!!"
"Nani?"
"You don't let Oliver watch adult swim??"
"THose shows are too toxic for him!(In jp)"
"FLower for the last time speak english!"
"Yeah well who cares??"
"I care!!"
And:
"Hey len, didn't you have my xbox?"
"Yeah, ill check for it hold on."
*Rummaging noises*
"I don't see it"
"Yeha well I'll check"
*More rummaging noises*
"Hey what's thi--"
"DONT TOUCH THAT!"
"What? It's just a box it can't be that baaaaaAAAAAd...."
*Gasp*
"Len!? You're a furry!!????"
"Oh ym god..."
"Miku rin come here!!!"
"What?"
"Lens a furry!!!"
*Gasp*
"Ew."
"Why are you even surprised atp..."
me cause I don't have a record player, I don't have any vinyl records, I don't own all my favorite band albums, I don't have posters on my walls, I don't have an electric guitar in the corner of my room, I don't own a motorcycle, I don't have fingerless gloves that fit well, I don't have the clothes I want, I don't have a room with interesting colors, I don't have LED lights, I don't have fairy lights, I don't have a display case with all my stuff in it, I don't have a music cassette to put in my parent's old boombox, I don't know how to play the drums, I don't know how to write songs, I don't know how to do my makeup beyond eyeshadow and lipstick, and I'm really not nearly as cool as I think I am:
So real actually
gimmie a few years ill get a job
js dont get jumpscared by all those items suddenly showing up outside ur window
What.
Felt girlypop today, put mehendi(or henna in english) on my hands
i havent put henna on my hands in like ages sobs
but WOOO YAYYAYA
YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY
explodes violently
nooooo bestieee
im now floating particles
Aur naur
Fun fact: in hinduism, there's an actual DAY which says "nah fuck studying" and you're not allowed to study that day. It's called "kalamband" which litterally translates to "pen close"
Slay Hinduism W
REALLL like if you pick up a pen to study you have to endure your mother going "hey you know it's kalamband today you can't study" for the first time in your fucking life it's AMAZING. MAJORRR W
Me when I write a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but me cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again:
what da dawg doin
It's writing a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but it cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again.
ah i see
i care
show. /nf
It took me days to write. Anyway!
So like Teen Wolf, right? It's a show that exists. Sterek, right? It's a ship in said show. Actually. The single most popular ship in the show. Actually. On ao3 it beats EVEN THE CHARACTER TAGS which is NOT a common thing. Like usually the top tag for a fandom is a character tag, but no, here it's THE SHIP STEREK.
Anyway- this is like this because like... I mean the evidence... let's just say it's understandable.
But the thing about this ship is that like- it is just so clearly queerbait, like they practically hand it to you on a silver platter, but for some reason the fandom is delusional and 100% convinced that it's totally queercoding.
Sterek is the slash ship between Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski. Derek Hale is a werewolf, Stiles is a regular degular guy. Both of their characters play off each other well since they contrast a little what with Stiles being an overcompensating know-it-all who uses sarcasm and humor to hide his insecurities and Derek being a stoic angry loner type who takes things a little too seriously. Because of this the characters were often paired for scenes and naturally the fandom started shipping them.
Then the show decided "hey... why don't we lean into this more."
So in season 2... wonderful, beautiful season 2... this lizard creature with the ability to paralyze people comes along. And... oh boy.
One scene worth pointing out is a scene where the lizard thing, called a Kanima, paralyzes both Derek and Stiles. In this scene, they JUST SO HAPPEN to fall ON TOP OF EACH OTHER, and it JUST SO HAPPENS that they fall in a particular manner in which Stiles is on top of Derek with his head on his shoulder and his chest on Derek's. They could've so easily had Stules fall NEXT TO Derek, or at least had him fall in a different position with less of a romantic connotation. But they didn't. And just to throw salt in the wound, the antagonist even says, when they demand that they no longer be on top of each other, that Derek and Stiles "make a pretty good pair"... I bet the writers room was fucking cackling.
Another very notable scene is one that's not played off as a joke unlike the first one. Derek is paralyzed, Stiles is not. The Kanima can't swim so there in the pool with it waiting outside, stalking them. Since Derek is paralyzed, Stiles has to be the one to keep him afloat in the pool so he doesn't drown. Derek mentions that Stiles is only keeping Derek alive out of necessity, basically saying that since Stiles is powerless he needs Derek to fight off the Kanima for him and that's the only reason he's keeping him afloat and not because he actually gives a shit. Stiles takes offense to this and so he leaves Derek and swims to shore to try to grab a phone to call for help. Stiles fails then goes back to save Derek from drowning. And... dude. He risked his life to prove to Derek that not only does he not need him to survive this, but also that he's not saving Derek out of any sort of necessity, no, he's saving Derek... because he actually fucking cares. And Derek has major trust issues so doing something like this, risking your life to prove you care, is like... dude. So obviously since this is an important character moment it's literally never brought up again and we move on from it and that's that. Sigh... of course.
Then in season 3, Stiles is now the antagonist. And up to this point Stiles and Derek's opinions on what to do with antagonists has been pretty much the same "why don't we just kill them" but now it's Stiles who's the antagonist and he's like "guys, if I lose myself completely, just kill me" because he's being possessed by the Nogitsune and isn't intentionally the antagonist ofc. But Derek, a man who has, up until this point, been pretty okay with murder, is suddenly like "guys no matter what, we can't kill Stiles"... what's with the switch up Derek... why are we changing opinions now? His change in behavior toward this is never addressed.
The other seasons continue with pretty much similar type shit. Derek and Stiles are often paired up for scenes. There are fleeting moments of mentioning how weird their relationship is, certain scenes that just seem so questionable that the directors and writers could've easily cut out or changed, and just thing after thing that is so clearly gay but also... not.
Then in the last season of the show, Stiles gets with Lydia Martin, a character he has been shown to be attracted to but up until now she hasn't really shown much reciprocation for these feelings except for fleeting moments. The relationship feels a little shoehorned in at the last season for fanservice. Then that was the end of it.
...until 2023 of course.
In 2023 they decided "hey guys why don't we do a movie" and everyone agreed except for the actor for Stiles. So the movie goes on without him. In the movie Stiles is clearly absent and this is explained in the movie by him being part of the FBI. This makes sense character wise and story wise.
We see in the movie that Derek now has a child. Who is the mother of said child? 🤷♀️. But I do know this. According to the casting director, the actor chosen for the child was chosen because he "reminded me of Stiles"... the actor for Derek's child... was picked because he reminded the casting director of Stiles... ha... haha...
Stiles's car is also in the movie. It's with Derek now. Yeah. And uh Derek is overprotective... of the car. One of the characters even states outwardly "that car meant a lot to Derek"... yeah... the car is what we're talking about here... sure.
This movie reads like fanfiction... and I don't think that's a coincidence.
We already know all the scenes and questionable choices that happened in the show, but to really make it clear why this is so queerbait we need to go behind the camera. Back to the Teen Wolf show.
During the Teen Choice Awards each show nominated was tasked with making a short video convincing teens to vote for them to win. Teen Wolf's video had... the actors for Stiles and Derek... sitting on a ship... practically all over each other... saying basically "vite for Teen Wolf and you might get to see our characters do more stuff like this"... 😰
I don't think I need to explain when I say that is just so clearly a queerbait move. Making an empty promise of queer rep in exchange for something that would get the creators of Teen Wolf more money... yeah that's literally queerbait. The definition of it actually.
Fast forward to the movie. Whenever it comes to Derek and Stiles the cast and crew and such always say things that are just bordering on gay, but never explicitly saying it. And this is in 2023. They're not gonna explode if they say the word gay on screen. But it's always avoidant of the topic it's always just shy of screaming gay, they can never quite say it. It's almost like... almost like they don't actually care and just want the money so they're giving the shippers crumbs while never giving them a full meal so they don't lose their homophobic audiences... but no that can't possible be... can it?
Yes it can. Yes it is. Sterek si the single most obvious clear as day representation of queerbait I have ever seen in my life and yet the random and shipper are either blissfully ignorant or just so so oblivious to the reality of the matter. Why do the creators always dance around the topic of Sterek? Why do the writers add unnecessary scenes that are a little odd to say the least only to then forget about those scenes and never bring them up again? Why do the directors shoot some scenes in specific questionable ways that are never directly addressed? Because it's all a big fat lie. A lie that everyone fell for, hook line and sinker.
If I get a majority saying yes I'll give y'all my smule account 💀
Whats a smule
that one app where you can sing
ah. I have never heard of it.
eveyrone excited for halloween:
me sitting here, ECSATIC in my chair cause diwali is tomorrow(i dont celebrate halloween):
idk if this is like a weird question or what, but does Diwali take place on the same time every year or does it like change?
No the dates may be different but it always comes in the same season according to the Hindu calander at the kartik amavasya which is the new moon of the season of kartik(spetember end-october end if I'm not mistaken I might have to ask my mother) so kinda
oh cool another question. What is Diwali about? I heard of it but I don't really know much sorry
ooo okay how the fuck do i explain this cause you'd have to know alot about hindu mythology(dear god im forced to call it a mythology) first of all-
help i feel the need to js explain the entire ramayana to you because the online sources get it so wrong and i practically CAN'T get it wrong because
1.My mother is going to kill me if i get something wrong
2.we litterally HAVE the reprint of the ORIGINAL book in our house so.
you don't have to explain it to me if you don't want to haha, I was just curious I guess
ehe <3
Exam so bad it has me looking like this:
I literally failed so miserably I can't even rn. The dude next to me kept looking at my paper and cheating from me and I'm just like "dude... I don't think you wanna do that"
Well. No one to blame but himself I guess.
me w igcse physics because what the fuck was that theory paper
weird sensations i never knew I'd experience, part 1:
remember how i chipped part of my two front teeth? yeah uh. I now understand what my teacher meant when she said that teeth have nerves inside them. Because now everytime i eat or drink something i feel this very weird..oddly-sweet(?) sensation on(?) my teeth and it's like my body's saying "ayo tf? how is the food TOUCHING the nerves?" yeah uh, sorry body, thats kinda on me :upsidedown-face:
OOF that makes me uncomfy just thinking abt it
It's not that bad actually
really? I've never chipped a tooth before, so.
yeah it feels lowkey sweet
sigggh
first pneumonia, then something that feels like covid, now this
WHEN I SAID I WAS GODS GREATEST SOLDIER I DID NOT MEAN IT TOUCH OF DEATH
yeah so today while returning from the ground in school i tripped and fell and broke a peice of my two front teeth.
i am actually going to cry i cant.
kill me already omg
i dont even want to speak anymore
Komi-san Can't Communicate except instead of having sociophobia she's just REALLY insecure about her broken teeth from an accident..
💀💀
Seriously r u ok?
if somebody tells me one more fucking time that "nobody's going to notice" i will actually jump is2g do you KNOW the kids in my class?? knowing them I'll probably get bullied till the day i DIE and plus i look so bad too i wouldnt even blame them cause i'd want to bully myself for looking like this too real
yeah so i think im just going to become Komi now. i already look like her(minus the pale skin cause im not Japanese) so i think i'll just ocmmunicate with a notebook until i meet my tadano :disappointed-relieved:
RIP but honestly real teenagers make fun of anything atp
Real like last time I remember I got bullied for liking anime by this little nerd ass bitch who's like half my height and I could probably punt him to the sun
ITS CANON!?????!/1?!?!?!?!??!?!?!/!?!?!/1/1?!?1//1/!?!?(well no it isnt cause ik you assagiri BUT STILL HOLY SHIT?)
oh my god OH MY GOD OHMYGODOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGM ITS CANOCNONAONCOASNO NOANSCO
THANK YOU HOSHIKAWA-SAN!11!!!!1!(and asagiri but im still salty abt the new chapters)
hand over the name right NEOW. /nf
well it IS Bungou stray dogs (but the Dazai, Chuuya, 15 opne) but js so yknow they arent actually canon but this manga panel is canon which makes it borderline canon.
Lol, I crashed omw home from school
Luckily not badly injured, and I didn't hit my head cause I caught myself on my hands, but yea lol
Aur naur are u ok
Yea just bruised and a couple of scratches. No severe injuries or anything. My bruises hurt pretty bad but I was able to limit the swelling and they're not very clear so from the outside looking in as long as you ignore the plaster, it's like nothing ever even happened. Still hurts but whatever, the pain should go in about 3 days maybe 4 because school might force me to walk and be more active which can make the bruise worse.
WHAT .
ARE YOU OKAY?? IS EVERYONE ELSE OKAY TOO
yeah I'm good and no one else was involved in the crash dw. Just me being stupid and going too fast on my scooter.
I feel like my vocal cords have been ripped out of my throat.
That is not good
It's a normal Tuesday for me 🤷🏻 it happens sometimes
That is even worse
Ig it is 🤷🏻
But now I'm wearing a mask and going to a doctor and it feels like COVID is back HELPP
Pneumonia then covid. You're really going through it rn
i felt hungry sorry :(
gurl.
did u just ated my vocalo chords /hj
I love vflower so much RAAAAAAAAH
REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL
do you ever just
Hora mite yo hora furete yo
Bon'you na fuku o sutesatte
Ima sanagi kara chou ni naru no
Ari no mama subete misetsukete
Samekitta butai enja wa inai
Nara suteppu kizande 1,2,3
Odorasareru nja nai
odoru no yo saa saa saa kurutte
YES i feel like she's underrated sobs I LOVE HER
REAL REAL REAL RELA
i need to find an empty place to scream and cry in
like an endless rage room, they need to make those.
i haven't cried properly in ages because i'm worried someone will walk in and it'll be awkward :T
I would go to an infinite rage room. I need it.
Also I usually just cry as quietly as possible while everyone else is asleep.
I love how this is me everytime any sort of traumatic event happens to me: haha lol someone broke into my house while I was in the bathroom lmao, it's a good thing they didn't check in there, would hate for them to catch me with my pants down haha get it? Get it? I know I'm crying from pure terror, ignore that, is the joke funny or not?
The depression brings about whimsy because it's the only thing that keeps me from totally falling apart.
ARE YOU OKAY?? LIKE DID YOU MENTALLY CALM DOWN, DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW AND STUFF D:
urgh omw to give you a hug that's a terrifying situation.
it didn't actually happen. I don't think. Just my brain hearing noises outside and going "Yep that's someone here to kill you." It happens dw no one broke in
But I definitely did think someone did and I even texted my friend while crying 100% convinced I was gonna die. And I made that exact same joke. About getting caught with my pants down. I actually made multiple jokes. A concerning amount for someone who thought they were about to die.
Lowkey I hate the fact that I had to verify my email again
Cus I use my mother's phone and her email storage was full so when I cleared all that itch just hit me with a "Hey girlie!☺️ You're not getting your account back."
SO I HAD TO MAKE A NEW ONE AND SPENT LIKE 1000+ HOURS LOOKING FOR THIS GROUP AGAIN FROM THE OLD COMMENTS ON MGM BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE IT BOOKMARKED ON CHROME
PLUS I JUST CAME BACK RORM THE HOSPITALA
AHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHGGG I WANNA KMS AAAAA
Omg 😭😭😭
I'm so sorry, did you bookmark this place tho? So you don't have to do that again I mean
Yeah I did this time I am NOT going through that again
Uh
Is everyone ok.
Well take this art I'm making of beast!chuuya on rblx ig
I am not okay because school but that looks amazing!
Dang school must suck for you then :(
BUt tyyyyy
It does fr I am suffering dude SUFFERING
aur naur
(i started madoka magica :p)
KEWL
my biggest problem is just hw. I hate hw. I hardly have enough free time as it is.
HI DREAMING!!!!!
HIW HAVR YOU BEEN
I HAVE BEEN SUFFERING IN THE HOSPITAL BUT OKAY IG!!1!!!11!!1
OH 😞 GLAD YOU'RE BETTER NOW
Me when I just came back from the hospital and see almost everyone going insane(I lost my account):
HOSPITAL WTF HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY
Yeah, I'm fine(mostly) I had pneumonia ;-;
We're good though :P
I actually also came back to Twitter somehow after coming back from the hospital, and all I see on threads is that mii yeah! Thing and I'm Like--
"Wh... Is that..."
"..HATSUNE MIKU!?"
WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT PNEUMONIA LIKE "oh yeah it was nothing" BRO PNEUMONIA CAN BE FATAL (I say like that isn't literally the exact way I talked about that one time I almost died)
I am no on twitter so I have no clue 😁
im fine reallyy it wasnt that bad
oh elon musk removed the like option so now everyone's using different versions of the MII "Yeah!" thing and i keep seeing the hatsune miku version..
So it was just like a mild case
oh wow, A-short Perfume really is just destroying twitter atp.
How's it going everypony?
I'm sure you can already tell, but I am not doing good! In fact, I'm doing very very shit rn! School is kicking my ass, the ACTs are kicking my ass, my entire life is kicking my fucking ass.
So, needless to say, I am this fucking close to losing my shit, but it's okay! I can always go find it later! Anyway, I need to go scream and cry into my pillow for the next hour.
Goodbye, everypony!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
haiii guys :3…
It is really difficult to resist the urge to be mean sometimes.
Like the other day my class was in the gc talking about colors for our senior uniform next year (the seniors get a specialized uniform and other perks and such) and I was trying to push for a CMYK color pallette but my class pretty much ignored my existence so whatever, I stopped caring and let them decide amongst themselves. They're big boys they can deal with it.
That's when someone privately messaged me. This bitch named Karma who was all like "I'm sure you know who I am" like- okay, whatever, Karma. And she's all like "did you vote for the uniform color?" So I said no.
She then said to look at the colors and see which one I liked best, and the contest was between these two colors, blue and purple. I went blue because I like it more than purple and if I'm pushing for CMYK, it is in my interest to pick the blue. I tell her this and she's like "oh but... don't you wanna pick the purple though?"
Oh is that what this is? You're not being all nice to me and asking if I voted because you actually care. You just want me to vote for the one you want. Okay, Karma. Fine. I'll vote for the purple if it'll make you shut the fuck up.
Is what I would have said if I wasn't trying to be nice. So I just went "okay purple ig" and voted purple. Then ignored her "thank you" message cause, frankly, you couldn't pay me to give a shit.
I had to actively resist calling every single one of my classmates brain dead assholes yesterday. They're all actually so annoying and I could keep telling stories about how much they piss me off, but I think you get the point.
If only saying "how the fuck did you make it past third grade" was okay.
can i like
strangle her she sounds like an absolute bitch /nay
purple uniforms give me trauma RAAAAHHHH (iykyk)
trust me if I could strangle her I would. She was absent today tho yay!
Also, real. I wish I stayed another year or something so you wouldn't have had to be there alone. Oh well.
meow
I'm so hungy :(
arf arf (idk either)
meow
ARF ARF ARF
GRRRRRR 😡😡
ARF ARF 🤬😡🤬
HISSSS MEOWWW D:<
GRRRRRRRRR GRRRR 😡😡😡
MEOWWWWW HISSSSSS
IM ALIVE WHO CHEERED
after like years sobs
Hola
Welcome back to the land of the living
omg i didnt know u kept a picture of me woah /j
yeah it's from the cameras I hid in your house- I mean... what? 😁
I CHEERED!! HI HELLO HII HI
HII WAVES
HIIIII WAVES
How it feels being here alone:
HEY HEY UR NOT ALONE 🙋♀️
YOUVE JUST BEEN SILENT THIS WHOLE TIME 😭😭😭
NOOO LMAO I JUST BASICALLG CAME BACK IVE BEEN SO BUSY 😭😭
Wow. I have been pretty busy too I have to study for like the ACTs and such and idek if I'm gonna end up getting a spot or if they're all taken.
yall I'm so done with school fr. So fucking done.
Me when the show has SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be SO GOOD but the writers are just so fucking terrible-
Miraculous Ladybug (at this point the show is a joke and it kills me that it could've been a lot more than what it is)
Voltron (imagine killing all your characters both metaphorically and physically and the only characters you didn't kill are characters who were hardly even characters in the first place)
Star vs the Forces of Evil (sigh... no comment.)
Glee (as much as this show is... certainly a show and everyone loves to shit on it you can't deny that the idea itself COULD have been actually good)
Stranger Things (needs a whole essay by itself cause... yikes)
Old Man McGucket: a Character Analysis
I'm going to preface this essay by saying, I have not read any of the books except for screenshots from people who actually have them, so this essay is strictly going to be about the show and maybe like... five book pages idk-
Spoilers, duh. But the essay is better if you haven't watched the show, but don't read it if you're ever planning to. This is like majorly important plot spoilers.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Old Man McGucket. The crazy old guy who actually turns out to have a hell of a lot of plot relevance in a crazy twist that was foreshadowed in a way that people generally overlooked as "crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show". Wait a minute...
(vine boom goes here)
Yeah, McGucket and Simon are pretty similar for multiple reasons. But we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about the incredibly dark reality of Old Man McGucket. A man who didn't lose his mind, but instead, locked it away himself.
THE SHOW:
We are introduced to McGucket in the second episode of the first season, The Legend of the Gobblewonker. Grunkle Stan drags Dipper and Mabel to go fishing with him, as they're there, they see this crazy old man screaming about something called a "Gobblewonker" a strange Loch Ness Monster type creature that hides out on a mysterious island off the shore. Everyone calls him crazy, but Dipper and Mabel decide to go hunt down this Gobblewonker and take a picture of it to win a photo contest, ditching Grunkle Stan in the process. Eventually they learn that the "Gobblewonker" isn't actually real, but instead a robot made by the crazy old guy at the start in order to get attention from his son. This crazy old guy is Old Man McGucket.
Immediately from this first episode intro we learn a couple of things about Old Man McGucket. He has a son, who is never mentioned ever again in the show. His wife left him. He has a knack for machinery. He's generally viewed as crazy by the characters, and, let's be honest... he is. Now immediately you have a couple of questions. Why is this crazy old guy a robot genius? He doesn't seem like a mad scientist type, more like a hillbilly. So what's up with that? Good question. Keep that in your pocket for now.
For the rest of the season McGucket never really shows up in any prominent roles. He's really just a crazy old hillbilly prospector-y guy who just so happens to be pretty good with machines. It's not really questioned. It is brought up multiple times, but otherwise ignored. So, whatever. Crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show, right? Well not this crazy shenanigans show, because, ultimately, Gravity Falls is made for theorists and mystery solvers. Encoded messages. Hidden clues. Itty bitty details that all allude to the bigger picture. The solution to the question... what is going on in Gravity Falls? That and who wrote The Journals, but that's not the point.
The point is that the Gravity Falls fandom is full of people who look into every little detail to solve mysteries. So McGucket being good with machines? No way that's just a crazy shenanigan.
So, what do we know about the author of the journals? He had six fingers. He was good with machines. He's probably been in Gravity Falls for a while. And Journal 3 is his last journal he was writing before he mysteriously... stopped.
McGucket fits two of those. Good with machines and lived in Gravity Falls for a while. But... we can reasonably make him fit the other two. Six fingers? His right arm is in a cast. Maybe he used to have six fingers, maybe something happened. Writing mysteriously stopped? McGucket is repeatedly shown to be basically insane so... maybe that's why he stopped writing the journals. Because something so horrific and terrible happened to him that he lost his mind, and so he stopped writing. That's it. All the signs point to-
Oh. Nevermind then.
Now that the theory is no longer that McGucket is the author of the journals, and instead it's Stan's secret twin brother... then who is McGucket?
For that... we need to look at season 2.
Specifically the episodes 2, 4, and 7.
Season 2, episode 2, Into the Bunker is partially an episode about Dipper's crush on Wendy and partially a lore episode. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy head on an adventure to find the author of the journals's secret hideout, which is apparently in a tree. They find it and make it in. While down there they find a shapeshifting monster that tries to kill them and steal Journal 3. They escape, trapping the monster in a cryochamber and immediately leaving the secret hideout. On the way out, Soos managed to grab what he thought was a briefcase. As it turns out, the "briefcase" was, in fact, an only slightly wrecked laptop with the words "Property of F" written at the top. Soos says he can fix it and that's the episode. (Minus Wendy and Dipper stuff)
Season 2, episode 4, Sock Opera. Soos has finally fixed the laptop so now all Dipper and Mabel need to do is open it and they'll figure it all out. The author of the journals, the secrets of Gravity Falls, all of it at the click of a button! Exceepptt the laptop is unfortunately password locked. An eight letter word is between them and... essentially, everything the show has built up toward. Mabel gets distracted making a sock opera to impress a boy, and in an act of desperation, Dipper makes a deal with Bill Cipher, the main antagonist of the entire show, for a vessel in exchange for the password to the laptop. Bill takes over Dipper's body and immediately smashes the laptop thereby destroying any chance of opening it and we never find out the password. Bill is defeated in the end, but the laptop is destroyed and they're no closer to finding the author of the journals than before. Or are they? (Vsauce music starts)
Season 2. Episode 7. Society of the Blind Eye. We open on Lazy Susan closing up the diner. We see her kick out some rats, and Old Man McGucket from underneath a table, then on her way out she sees the gnomes from episode one stealing her pie. She's shocked, startled, bamboozled, but before she can really react a bunch of people wearing red coats just... take her away. Then the opening plays.
We're back to Mabel and Dipper trying to find the author of the journals, and upon closer inspection of the destroyed laptop that supposedly belonged to the author, they see a branding thing on it. This little piece of metal that says "McGucket Labs" so they piece together that McGucket could be the author of the journals. His first name is Fiddleford (I think this is the first time we learn that in the show), and the laptop says "Property of F", and all the evidence adds up. Of course, most of the fandom by now has moved on from the McGucket theory. So there's no way that's all there is to this episode. Of course not. That'd be incredibly stupid and a huge waste of time covering this episode.
So Mabel and Dipper go running to find McGucket. They find him with his house being vandalized by teens writing the words "Mc Suck-it" and McGucket promptly shooing them off his property. Dipper tells McGucket to drop the act and that he knows who he is, but McGucket says he hardly remembers anything. So they got to the last place he can recall in his memory which is the museum.
At the museum they discover a secret passageway which leads them to a secret meeting between a bunch of people in red robes. They all watch as the robed men erase Lazy Susan's memory of the gnomes with some weird looking ray gun. They conclude that the weird robed guys are the reason McGucket can't remember anything. That they did something to him to make him the way he is. So they resolve to find McGucket's memories and bring them back so he can remember everything.
After fighting the Blind Eye Society and then erasing all their memories of the society ever existing, they finally go to watch McGucket's memories and figure out everything that happened. And this... is where everything is revealed.
They play the memories, and we see a young man on screen. He's wearing glasses, a blazer and tie, and looks to be of good health and sound mind. He introduces himself as Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. He explains that he, for the past year, has been helping this scientist, the author of the journals, build some kind of... machine. But... something went wrong. Something terrible. So terrible that it haunts McGucket every day. So he invented something. Something to erase this terrible memory of what he helped build. The ray gun that the Blind Eye Society used. The very first thing he erases from his mind is erased right in front of us. He erases... "Fiddleford". The very first thing McGucket took away from his own brain... is himself.
We watch him come up with the Society of the Blind Eye. A society made to help people forget the terrible things they've seen. To help everyone live in blissful ignorance of what's really going on in Gravity Falls. The zombies. The gnomes. Everything.
We watch as McGucket erases more of his memories. We watch him get older, we watch his hair grey, we watch his beard grow, his glasses break and eventually disappear. We watch as he starts to forget words, talk faster. We watch him progressively lose his mind more and more. We watch him erase his own memories... to the point of no return. No one did this to McGucket. He did this to himself.
But... what happened to drive him to such drastic measures? What made him become so paranoid and so scared that he locked his memories away in hopes of never thinking about it again? What did McGucket see?
For that... we need to go back. Way back.
FIDDLEFORD HADRON MCGUCKET:
Fiddleford McGucket. Grew up on a hog farm in Tennessee with, well, not exactly what you call a lot of money.
He was, however, skilled in mechanics, and was pretty smart, which got him into Backupsmore University in the mid-1970s where he met Stanford Pines. The author of the journals and the twin brother of Stanley Pines. After he graduated he made his own computer business called "Fiddleford Computermajigs" but in the middle of his work he received a call from Ford saying he needed a mechanical genius to help him build a transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex in his basement in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Fiddleford agrees, leaving his wife and son behind.
From then on, Fiddleford was Ford's research assistant. He helped Ford with all of his studies and any machine building needs, and even was so nice as to get him a Christmas present, yet forgot to get one for his actual wife. By the way, the password to his laptop, the one found in the bunker, was "Stanford" which is certainly a choice. But we're not here to talk about doomed old man yaoi, back to the normal conversation.
So, while Fiddleford was working with Ford, a Gremloblin, half goblin, half gremlin, attacks Fiddleford staring him right in the eyes which makes him see his worst nightmare. We don't actually know what Fiddleford saw in the Gremloblin's eyes. But we do know how it affected him. In the physical copy of Journal 3 we learn more. Stanford writes that he's been worried about Fiddleford since his encounter with the Gremloblin, saying that he hasn't slept or even fixed his Rubik's Cube since then. He tells Fiddleford to "use his creativity to solve his problems" intending to talk about meditation and such, but as we know... Fiddleford didn't quite take it like that. He used his creativity alright. He used it to build the mind eraser gun. Soon enough Fiddleford started to rely on the gun for everything. Every bad memory, every painful experience, everything he just didn't want to think about anymore. It worked like a drug, and boy, was Fiddleford an addict.
When Ford confronted him, Fiddleford, instead of dealing with his problems, simply erased Ford's memory of the gun entirely so he could use it freely without Ford knowing. Ford, of course, already wrote about the gun in the journal, so while he forgot about it, it was written down so he knew it existed. It's also implied that Fiddleford used the gun multiple times on Ford.
Nonetheless construction continues on the transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex. During a test run where they sent a dummy into the metavotrex, Fiddleford's leg got caught on the rope and he was therefore dragged through the metavortex, seeing the other side briefly before Ford saved him.
Once he emerged, Ford asked what he saw and Fiddleford immediately told Ford that the portal was in fact dangerous and he never should've built it in the first place. He said it would bring about the end of the world and to "fear the beast with just one eye"
What? This guy? He's a floating dorito chip, I'm sure he's harmless...
(He's wanted in the entire multiverse.)
So, Fiddleford quits the project saying he'd "just as soon forget" and so... he erased his mind of what he saw on the other side of the portal. And he started... the society of the blind eye. In Journal 3, Ford writes about how he's had weird dreams of Fiddleford looming in the dark with a red robe on, and he wonders if they were really just dreams. Fiddleford has probably erased a lot from Ford's mind and plenty of the townsfolk, but to no degree near what he's erased from his own mind.
It only got worse. And worse. And worse. Until he, of course, became the Old Man McGucket we see at the start of the show. Of course, he still retains just a little bit of his former identity, before he became what he is. This shows in his skill with mechanical engineering, and also his knowledge of things like the Gobblewonker. Even in this... state, he can't ever truly forget everything he's tried so hard to.
Fiddleford went through a great trauma that left him mentally unwell, and how did he cope? By shoving it all into a high security prison in the corner of his mind where he never had to think about any of it ever again. This of course is a terrible coping mechanism because, none of it is actually ever gone... it's just hidden from view. And it'll never be fully gone of course, but shoving it away only makes it worse, like prisoners working out and getting super buff in prison.
All of this damaged McGucket's brain so badly that the memory gun couldn't even be used on him anymore. That's how bad it got.
In The Book Of Bill, Bill actually talks about an attempt to possess Fiddleford. And this... is what urged me to write this essay. Bill Cipher, the person who literally laughs at pain, like literally laughs, he enjoys it, went into Fiddleford's mind and he says that he's never been in a mind so damaged, so broken, so shattered beyond repair, that it actually hurt. And, in his words, "for the first time, I felt a pain that wasn't funny."
Bill Cipher, the guy who finds great pleasure in being a manipulative asshole and TORTURING PEOPLE, said this. The unimaginable pain and suffering McGucket must be going through, the torture that was inflicted on him as well as the torture he inflicted upon himself... it was so bad, that not even Bill Cipher could laugh. What was originally just a crazy old guy with possible ties to the Author... turned out to be a deeply damaged and traumatized man.
This is the most tragic character in Gravity Falls. I don't even know how to end this essay... I can't even make a joke.
I really need to finish reading Hitchiker's Guide because it's melting my brain with thoughts of it and yet I still haven't picked the book up in days.
i might babble a bit too much but i can NOT get over this performance. well the entire tour itself, but the iconic 1989 tour in 2014-2015. honestly this WAS her best vocal tour recorded. not eras, not reputation, not speak now, not red, and not fearless, but 1989 honestly will always be my favorite vocal concert of taylor’s. her voice was so young but so STRONG at the same time, and sadly she did hurt her vocals to make such rough notes while she sang at this concert but like
this just proves WHY people call her the music industry. she was only 26, and she was singing CRAZY vocals, and with only FIVE albums released. either way, she had been making records SINCE 2007 when she released debut. literally 2009 and she’s selling out STADIUMS for her second album, and she was TWENTY. insane, it will always blow my mind. but let’s focus on 1989 rn
so 1989 era was really a handful, since during it she went through her ED, and she was JUST beginning to release her pop music, like 1989 was her first pop album after doing mostly country for 8 years. but the concert oh my GOD i would’ve died if i could’ve gone…my cousin went she calls it a fuckin’ fever dream dude 😭, like yes, movie/documentary is VERY badly edited and all but like
the VOCALS people, the VOCALS.
take example one of her most iconic performances till this fucking day
(4.55)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uTs6GcImbMI&pp=ygUab3V0IG9mIHRoZSB3b29kcyAxOTg5IHRvdXI%3D
like wow, it never fails to actually shock me to how good she sounds. this was the best bridge before any of her newer albums came out, but the way she sings so loud and so powerful is just like chilling everytime i listen to it
i could write an essay based on this fucking performance SOLEY, THATS how good it is. not a lot of singers are labeled; “THE music industry” at the age of 26. and since then, she’s maintained that title with other amazing albums…she recorded NINE albums in FIVE years while touring and filming TWO documentaries. that is WHAT the music industry does. but 1989 era oh my god what a time that was
don’t even get me started on reputation and eras tour like those
they literally
like.
wow.
mind boggling.
but yeah she’s my favorite artist for a reason lmao 😭
im also starting to listen to noah kahan and honestly he’s a pretty good artist
i like his lyrics
i’ve also started listening to gigi perez
she’s so good
Imagine my power if I didn't have the restraint of a character limit. I could write hour long essays about so many topics everyone would block me.
i’m afraid this has happened too me!
Oh wow, the character limit is like my biggest enemy rn, but I just need confirmation. Listen, I need you to read the two essays I wrote and tell me if they're good enough for me to make a commentary channel on yt or if I should stick to keeping my essays here or to myself. It's just that I have so many things I wanna talk about and so many ideas and stuff so I was thinking of doing one of those commentary channel things that mostly focuses on fandom content and fandom spaces yk- but idk if I'm that good at wording my essays. Obviously they would be better if I didn't have the character limit restrictions but just as they stand now are they good or absolute shit.
okay! i’ll read them rn
I wanted to do a wlw ship for part 3 of the "its gay" series but I'm struggling so hard with finding a good one because
1. I have to know and like the ship
2. It can't be canon because that's not what I'm here to talk about
3. It has to have something to it that I can write a full essay about
Finding an mlm ship like that is so easy. I can do it right now. Johnlock, Hilson, Hannigraham, Spirk, Wrightworth, Riddlebird(Gotham). I could do this in my sleep.
But finding a wlw ship like that is like finding a needle in a haystack except it's a really small haystack and also there are no needles in it. Every mainstream wlw ship is either canon or I don't know or like it. And if I do happen to find one that isn't canon and I do like it it's hardly anything worth a full essay.
I could talk about Morgwen but I've already discussed a BBC Merlin ship yk. I think I might just give up looking and cover Johnlock like I originally planned.
Just the difference in the frequency between mainstream mlm ships and mainstream wlw ships. There are significantly more mlm ships and they are always significantly more popular than wlw ships. Good job, everyone, misogyny at it's finest.
Sour (poem by me)
When life gives you lemons
You cant make orange juice with them
You have to make lemonade
No matter how hard you try or what you do
A lemon will never be an orange
No matter how much you wish you had oranges
No matter how bad you want it
You have to make lemonade
Because it's all you've got
It's all you can do
An unsatisfactory cup of lemonade
If it looks like a duck
And quacks like a duck
It's gay! (Part 2):
Merthur (BBC Merlin)
.
.
.
.
.
.
BBC seems to have a track record of taking existing IPs and making them uh... suddenly a lot... gayer. Sherlock and Merlin, like, jeez guys, wtf. (BBC Sherlock might be covered in part 3 maybe)
Merlin was released in 2008, ending in 2012 with one of the most devastating finales ever to exist. More devastating than Supernatural (spn fans don't come at me).
It's especially devastating with the most popular ship of the show. It's actually so queercoded it's crazy. (PS, been a while since I've watched the show so my memory may be fuzzy)
Merthur:
Let's talk about Merthur. The slash ship between Merlin and Arthur Pendragon.
At the start of the show, Merlin, a young sorcerer, is sent to the kingdom of Camelot by his mother. There he meets Arthur Pendragon, prince of Camelot, heir to the throne, and supreme asshole, being a dick to someone. Merlin jumps in to stop this and tells Arthur that's enough, but Arthur is just like "Do I know you?" And so Merlin is like "you're right, you don't, I wouldn't associate with an asshole like you" and uh... well Arthur replies with... the single gayest thing he could've said... ever.
Okay, calm down, sir.
Obviously that isn't what he meant, but I mean... like, come on- just this entire interaction because Merlin replies that he wouldn't wanna do that and Arthur says why, and Merlin says "you have no idea what I'm gonna do to you" and GUYS CAN WE STOP BEING GAY FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS
Not to mention that they're, what, INCHES away from each other. Guys now is NOT the time.
Anyway, Merlin tries to punch Arthur and is very easily taken down and sent to the dungeon for trying to punch the future king of Camelot. Gaius, the court physician and also the person Merlin is staying with while he's in Camelot, gets him out of there.
He meets Guinevere, the maid of Lady Morgana, the king's ward, and she tells him that standing up to Arthur was brave, but it's a good thing they didn't fight because he would've lost, Merlin says he could've totally beat up Arthur and she says "you don't look like one of those big muscle-y men" HA HA SHE CALLED HIM A TWINK. Keep Guinevere in mind. Gwen.
Anyway, magic is illegal in Camelot, so Merlin's sorcerer stuff needs to be kept under wraps. Magic is totally not an allegory for anything else at all.
Merlin and Arthur meet again, and they're back to being very gay. Arthur aks how Merlin's "knee-walking" is coming along and says he could "take you apart in one blow" and Merlin replies "I could take you apart with less than that" okay, guys, there are children present. You might wanna tone it down a little.
I know they're technically arguing here, but... this entire scene should just have a gay flag overlay because seriously wtf is this. You just... have to watch it. It's so gay it almost hurts. It is actually gayer than gay sex.
So anyway later on Merlin goes into a cave under the castle where the last dragon alive is being held and he talks to this dragon who tells him that he's destined to be Arthur's boyfriend- I mean destined to help Arthur save the kingdom. Yeah. There we go. The dragon specifically says that Arthur is "the once and future king who will save Albion." Merlin is upset at this and is like "nuh uh, that guy's a dick, you're a lying ass dragon" so the dragon peaces out, explaining absolutely nothing to Merlin, or the audience, as he calls out after it. Fun.
Anyway fancy dinner party time, Lady Morgana enters and all eyes turn to look at her. Merlin too and though he seems to think she looks good and even compliments her, it's not exactly too big of a reaction in contrast to Arthur's reaction. Though we can assume "well that's just Arthur" in light of how the scene plays out, Merlin's reaction seems a little tame. (Gay ass mf)
At the fancy dinner party some lady tries to assassinate Arthur and Merlin saves his life. Because of this, Uther, Arthur’s father, tells Merlin he must be rewarded for this. How does he reward Merlin? By making him Arthur's manservant, of course! Yay episode one over!
So now Merlin is Arthur's manservant and in this like knight battle thingy he has to help Arthur get into his armor before the battle and clean his armor after it. Merlin was at first annoyed at being ordered around by Arthur, but eventually we see him smiling and even talking to Arthur like his friend. Arthur obviously replies to all this with more orders for Merlin because he's still Arthur. The point is, Merlin is warming up to the situation he's in.
He finds out about ANOTHER plot to kill Arthur in the battle thing. So he's set on stopping it. This guy is bringing the snakes drawn on his shield to life so they can bite and kill Arthur in the final battle. Before he can do this, Merlin finds out and cuts one of the snakes' head off taking it to Arthur as proof.
Arthur doesn't believe him at first but Merlin says "I know I'm just a servant and my word doesn't matter but I would never lie to you" Arthur tells him to swear it and so Merlin does and Arthur believes him.
So they go in front of the king to accuse this guy of using magic but little do they know he actually knows they know so he killed the only credible witness to the snakes meaning the accusation had no legs to stand on other than a snake head. This makes Arthur look like he's trying to get out of the battle with this guy, basically he looks like a coward.
So he gets mad at Merlin, saying he trusted him and that he's sacking Merlin for a servant he can actually trust. Their first break up. 😔
Merlin goes to the dragon like "bitch, now I know you're a lying ass dragon, there's no way it's my destiny to protect this guy, he hates me." Then the dragon is like "a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole" wow, describing Merlin and Arthur as two halves of the same whole. That's hetero. Okay well, arguably, it could be hetero in the sense that I could say that abt my best friend, but just the dragon like "you and Arthur’s paths lie together" I mean... come on.
Anyway Merlin goes ahead and saves Arthur’s life for the second time. Get used to this. Arthur then tells Merlin he made a mistake by firing him and that he wants him back as his manservant. Arthur doesn't know Merlin saved him btw cause he saved him with magic and magic is illegal. Regardless, Arthur here, though he admits to being wrong, doesn't really say sorry. Most likely because he's emotionally constipated, a nice gift from his father.
I think you get the point by now. Over the course of the episodes we see Merlin and Arthur grow closer. Merlin repeatedly saving Arthur, sometimes even at the risk of his own life and Arthur becoming less of a prat. Also... so... so much eye sex. Like... an unbelievable amount of eye sex...
Btw Guinivere is implied to have a crush on Merlin at the start of the show, with the way she acts around him and such. Merlin however is more casual when it comes to their interactions. He's not flirting or anything he's just being Merlin. (Gay ass mf.)
In one episode Merlin falls deathly ill. Guinevere and Arthur are extremely worried and the only antidote is in a very dangerous cave and so Arthur is like "I volunteer as tribute!" But his dad is like "no way, you're the prince, you're not risking your life for a mere SERVANT." And Arthur is just like "uhm, actually, I think I will" so he goes to the cave anyway, and Merlin EVEN IN HIS COMATOSE STATE SENSES THAT ARTHUR NEEDS HIS HELP so he summons a glowing orb to light Arthur's way through the cave. So Arthur gets the antidote and gets it back to Gaius and leaves, probably to get an earful from his dad. Merlin wakes up to Gwen and Gaius and Gwen immediately kisses him because she's just so relieved he's alive. She apologizes and Merlin says "it's okay" then immediately after this episode the Merlin/Guinevere storyline is dropped. (Wow, Merlin, pretty gay of you)
Let's recap, after however many times Merlin has risked his own life to save Arthur’s, Arthur is now RISKING HIS LIFE FOR MERLIN'S. He's also shown to be one of the people who are MOST worried about Merlin, and this cast of characters includes, Gwen who's implied to be crushing on Merlin and Gaius who's literally his caretaker and is like a parent to him. And Merlin and Arthur’s souls are SO intertwined that even WHILE COMATOSE they can sense when the other is in danger.
Arthur also isn't there to watch Merlin wake up and doesn't even tell Merlin that he's the one who saved his life. What an emotionally constipated bitch. But you see at the start of the show Arthur would never and I mean NEVER have risked his own life for a servant's. And this positive change in Arthur is BECAUSE OF MERLIN.
Now that the Merlin/Guinevere has been dropped, we move along to Arthur/Guinevere. So Arthur and Guinevere talk and Guinevere gives Arthur a piece of her mind then quickly apologizes and Arthur’s like "no, it's fine, no one's ever talked to me like that" and... Arthur... MERLIN has talked to you like that. MULTIPLE TIMES. 🤨
The dragon repeatedly tells Merlin that he and Arthur are "two sides of the same coin" and other such prophetic stuff about how they're gay for each other.
Not only would either of them recklessly THROW THEMSELVES INTO DANGER for the other, but Merlin even made the CONSCIOUS DECISION to make sure Arthur NEVER LEGALIZES MAGIC THE ONE THING THAT HAS BEEN CAUSING MERLIN THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF SUFFERING OVER THE COURSE OF THE ENTIRE SHOW JUST FOR THE SAKE OF ARTHUR. HE WOULD THROW AWAY SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS THAT IF IT MEANT ARTHUR WAS SAFE.
When king Uther dies, in a later episode his ghost is summoned and he and Arthur talk. Uther runs his mouth about Gwen, Arthur’s literal actual wife, and Arthur is upset at this ofc, but when Uther so much as utters ONE WORD about MERLIN, Arthur is immediately like "now you done did it" and GETS RID OF HIS FUCKING GHOST. Not because he talked about Gwen or ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. Because he talked about MERLIN.
I must clarify, I don't think this means Arthur doesn't love Gwen, because he does (bisexual ass mf), but is Gwen the one whose destiny is intertwined with his? Uh, I don't think so.
In an episode, Merlin is upset, and all he does is WALK INTO THE ROOM and Arthur is immediately like "what's wrong?" and trying to cheer him up.
In another episode, Merlin is in danger and Arthur WAKES UP IN A COLD SWEAT WITH HIS ACTUAL FUCKING WIFE (Gwen) NEXT TO HIM AND THE FIRST WORD OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS MERLIN'S NAME. AND THEN HE JUST FUCKING LEAVES TO GO FIND HIM.
When your husband wakes up from his sleep out of nowhere, saying his manservants name then immediately running out to go find him like you aren't even there: 🤨🏳️🌈?
By the way, once again with the SENSING WHEN THE OTHER IS IN DANGER. Like... come on.
Merlin has become less of a manservant for Arthur and more of one of the only people he can trust. His closest confidante. Someone he can rely on and he hopes can rely on him.
For Merlin, Arthur becomes less of a prat he's destined to protect and more of someone he cares about deeply and would go to any length to protect. Someone he would do anything for not because he has to, but because he just cares that much.
But through all of that there's still that one problem. That one thing they can't talk about, at least not normally. Because of certain laws.
Magic = Gay?:
In this world, magic was outlawed by king Uther because people were using magic for evil purposes (because magic killed his grandma, okay!) This caused the kingdom to be a little not okay. So basically a bunch of people with magic were trying to assassinate Arthur because of this law, because they don't want the law to continue so if the Pendragon bloodline ends hopefully the next king will be better and get rid of the rule.
Magic itself, in this world, is not something you can do unless you're born with it except for certain types like potions and stuff. But to do magic from your own two hands by yourself that you have to be born with. You don't get a say in it, you're just born with magic. And this magic isn't just something you have, no, it's a part of you. It's who you are. Merlin even says "if I can't use magic I might as well die". Magic is something personal to the user and with it being outlawed everyone with magic is forced to hide away a part of themselves. To lock it away and make sure no one sees such a dangerous disgusting side of who they are. But... magic, when used for the right reasons, isn't dangerous or disgusting at all. The actions of the few of magic users who did bad things created a punishment that affected all magic users. That forced them to live their lives agreeing with others on how terrible magic is when, behind closed doors, they can make objects float and bring statues to life.
Lady Morgana, remember her? She has magic. At the start of the show she didn't actually know she had it, but she does. We're shown her repeatedly talking to Gwen about men and mostly men. But the way she talks about it is surface level and superficial like a teenager with a boyfriend that'll last for a week before he's dumped. Meanwhile it seems as though she cares about Gwen herself deeper than that, than those superficial feelings she talks about.
Merlin is shown to not really have a lot of interest in women despite the kiss with Gwen and one scene with Morgana, but even then he's pretty... tame about it. He rarely has any sort of love interest type scenes with women. In fact half the men who get introduced in the show that Merlin becomes close with seem more like love interests than the women.
All of this seems a little... familiar. That's right, folks. Magic is an allegory for being gay. Lady Morgana is a lesbian (another win for the sapphics)!
And this is the one thing that Merlin can't tell Arthur about. The one thing he has to keep from him. Because if Arthur knew what Merlin was... well... who knows. He can never tell him the truth. Unless he's forced to.
The Finale:
I would explain the entire episode but it's just not important to the point of this. (Well I mean maybe kind of but...... okay it's complicated and like- just, I'm not gonna get into it) So let's get right into the important part. The ending.
Arthur is dying. And if Merlin doesn't get him to a very specific place very fast... Arthur isn't going to make it. So Merlin is determined to get it done no matter what. He carries the dying Arthur around on a horse all day. On the way the encounter a couple of fuckers who like hate the kingdom or something or other it is actually really not important uhm Lady Morgana is evil btw. So Merlin is forced to hide the fact that Arthur is a knight of Camelot, and also the fucking king. But the fuckers actually find out and they're about to attack them when Merlin uses magic to stop them. In front of Arthur. For the first time. After all this time. Arthur finally knows the truth. And in this scene Arthur isn't mad because Merlin has magic. He's mad because Merlin lied to him.
In Arthur's eyes this was a betrayal. The person he thought he could trust more than anyone else, the person he considered to be someone he could always rely on to tell the truth... has kept something so big from him all these years. Arthur isn't mad because Merlin has magic. That's not the part he's mad about. It's that Merlin didn't tell him.
They continue and encounter more fuckers along the way which they expertly avoid thanks to Merlin's magic and Arthur being the observant fellow he is recognizes that this isn't the first time Merlin's had to cover for Arthur.
When Arthur mentions this and mentions the fact that he never tried to take credit for what he did, covering Arthur's ass every time he did something stupid or someone tried to kill him, Merlin says that's not why he does it. He doesn't stick his neck out for Arthur for fame or glory. He did it for Arthur. Sure, you can reasonably make the argument that he did it cause he's a good person or cause it was his destiny, but the way he looks at Arthur in this scene and the way Arthur reacts. It's clearly not the intended meaning. What Merlin is saying here is "I did it all for you. Because I care about you and I don't want to see you hurt or worse, dead."
When night falls, Merlin and Arthur stop to rest.
Merlin tends to Arthur, giving hin water, trying to keep him alive as long as possible. Arthur starts speaking, saying "whatever happens-" before he's cut off by Merlin telling him not to speak. Arthur tells Merlin that he's the king and Merlin can't order him around, but Merlin says it's never stopped him before so why should he change now. Arthur replies to this with "I don't want you to change. I want you to always be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you." Arthur then falls asleep and Merlin tells him to get some rest, not replying to what Arthur just said but it's evident in his face that it affected him. This scene is also sponsored by too much eye sex to be hetero. (If you think I'm joking about how much eye sex they have... I wish I was)
Later they're just barely at their destination but Arthur is dying faster than Merlin can get him to where they're going, especially since the horses ran off.
So now Merlin is desperately trying to save Arthur and he's just in complete denial about the whole situation, trying to convince himself there's a way they can still make it, but Arthur just shuts him down. He tells him to stop and "just... hold me... please." This is Arthur’s only request as he's dying. For Merlin to just... hold him. Just... be there. That's all he wants.
He tells Merlin that he wants to say something to him before he dies. Especially now that he knows everything Merlin's done for him. He wants to say something he's never said to him before. "Thank you." And those are his last words as he finally dies and Merlin cries over him.
Except... wait. Arthur has said "thank you" to Merlin before. Maybe not often... but he said it. There are even compilations of it. Maybe the creators just forgot. Or...
Maybe this scene wasn't meant to end with "thank you".
Maybe this scene was meant to end with something the creators weren't allowed to say.
Maybe... Arthur was supposed to say... "I love you."
His dying breath, his last words are to Merlin and Merlin alone. No one else. Just Merlin. It was always Merlin.
Merlin screams begging for Arthur to wake up, and obviously he doesn't so Merlin calls on the dragon for help. When the dragon arrives it just tells Merlin "Arthur is the once and future king" emphasis on the "once" part. Arthur was always going to die. It was destined. And we were told it from the beginning. Arthur would die then rise again to save Albion when they need him most, centuries later. Then the dragon flies off leaving Merlin to deal with his grief.
We see Gwen become the only ruler on the throne since Arthur is now dead. She legalizes magic btw and fixes the kingdom kind of, but that's not important to this essay. (Love Gwen so much actually)
We cut to a timeskip. Centuries in the future. Present (2012) day. We see Merlin. He must've used magic to stay alive all these years. All these years. He stayed alive and waited. Waited for King Arthur to return. And he still waits. No matter how long it takes. For Arthur. The once and future king.
I want to note, this was longer, I had to cut it down to fit the character limit.
In this cut I had to sacrific a lot of important information by the way, seriously, a lot. If only I could write proper full essay here.