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hi guys

who wants to switch schools bc i’m done with my geo honors teacher ☺️.

Enjoying my favorite media isn't enough. I need to eat it.

YALLLLLL okay so I was playing TEW 2, underrated game, genuinely obsessed with it, and now I am FREAKING OUT because I am WAY TOOOOO OBSESSSED. I feel an urge... to eat it. I want to eat the game. It's so eat-able. Chomp. Cromch. Om nom. Delicious.

I NEED TO EAT IT

its nightcrawler's birthday u stinks /lh 
WISH THEM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. /j /nf

Yall i hate c.ai

Im being so cringe im gonna vomit 😭😭

Gay.

ANYWAY

If it looks like a duck

And quacks like a duck

It's gay! (part 4):

Anderperry (Dead Poets Society)

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Dead Poets Society, one of the single most devastating movies to ever exist, is a movie about a group of boys at an all boys boarding school called Welton Academy. Spoilers later on btw. Well- obviously- but yk.

Charlie Dalton, an extroverted, spontaneous type, who doesn't hesitate to challenge authority.

Knox Overstreet, a caring and supportive type, who would do anything for love. 

Neil Perry, an adventurous type, who wants to be free. 

Todd Anderson, a shy, nervous type, who wishes he was more confident. 

Richard Cameron, a PIECE OF SH- a rule-abiding, brown-nosing loser, who does what he believes is right, which is basically just following authority. 

Stephen Meeks, an academically-inclined, smart type, who's reluctant to break the rules, but still has a rebellious streak.

Gerard (way) Pitts, a shy, yet ambitious type, whose grades are failing despite him being considered smart.

Each of the members have their own things to talk about, some more than others, but this essay isn't an overview of all the characters or the whole movie. It's an essay about two characters in specific.

Anderperry:

Anderperry is the slash ship between Todd Anderson and Neil Perry.

At the start of the movie, Todd is a new student at Welton, who transfers in the fall semester of 1959. Neil and the rest of the group clearly aren't new students. 

When Todd goes to his assigned room he runs into Neil who asks why Todd left his old school. Todd mentions that his brother used to go to Welton and Neil says "oh, so you're that Anderson" implying that his brother had a reputation at the school. Todd walks into his dorm, and Neil introduces him to the others: Stephen Meeks, Charlie Dalton, and Knox Overstreet. 

Todd sorta just watches as they light a cigarette and make fun of the school, saying the four pillars of Welton Academy (Tradition, Discipline, Honor, and Excellence) except the way they say it is "Travesty, Decadence, Horror, and Excrement" they even call the school "Hell-ton". This is interrupted by Neil's father who asks to speak to him.

In this scene, we see the whore-- I mean-- Neil's father tell him that he should stop having so many extracurriculars and instead should focus on his medical studies, saying that only after Neil graduates medical school can he do whatever he wants.

The boys then leave Neil and Todd to unpack since they're roommates. They later invite Todd to their study group and he agrees with a quiet ass barely audible "thanks" (guys he's so me fr)

During their English class, which they all have, the new teacher, Mr. Keating, brings some unorthodox teaching methods, having them go out into the hallway instead of sit in the classroom and telling them to rip the pages of the book they were given. Todd, though he seemed to know the answers to the questions Mr Keating asked, spent most of the class saying nothing (he's actually me guys wtf) both Neil and Todd seemed to enjoy Mr Keating's lesson, Neil moreso.

We later see Todd write "Sieze the day" (part of Mr Keating's lesson included the phrase "Carpe Diem") on a piece of paper before ripping it out and crumpling it up.

Todd, Neil, and the others find Mr Keating after his second lesson with them to ask them what the "Dead Poets Society" was. Mr Keating says it was an old group he was a part of when he used to go to Hellton where they would all gather and read and write poetry.

Neil is like "woah that's cool, I'm gonna do that, too... except I'm gonna BREAK THE RULES HELL YEAH LIVE ON THE FUCKING EDGE BRO" I'm just kidding- well, not really. Neil decides to restart the Dead Poets Society, but behind the school's back. He recruits Charlie, who was quick to agree, Cameron, who agrees though he's a little bitch about it, Pitts, who is hesitant since he's worried about his grades but agrees nonetheless, Meeks, who says that he "will try anything once" and agrees, and Knox, who's unsure, but is convinced when Charlie mentions his crush on a girl named Chris, saying it would help him with her.

The only person left is Todd and Neil goes to talk to Todd personally. He asks him to join the DPS, but Todd is reluctant. He says he doesn't want to talk, and he's afraid that because he's not as outgoing as the rest of the group, because he won't talk, he won't be welcomed. Neil comforts him, telling him it's okay, he doesn't have to say a word if he doesn't want to, instead he can just take the minutes instead. Todd agrees and attends the first DPS meeting along with everyone else.

He really wants Todd to join, guys, he's actually so persistent in this scene. Also jsut the tone he talks to Todd with is different to the tone he uses with literally everyone else in the movie. Neil. You just met him. 🤨🏳️‍🌈?

In one of Keating's classes he gives everyone an assignment to write a poem. Todd tries to write multiple poems but he ends up throwing all his attempts away, thinking they aren't good enough. Neil then enters the room excitedly, telling Todd he knows what he wants to do. He found out the school was putting on a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and he wants to act in it. He says "for the first time in my whole life, I know what I want to do" and Todd brings up the issue of his father. How is he gonna do the play if his father doesn't approve. Because of this they get into an argument. Neil shouts at Todd before sitting on the windowsill and saying "can't I just enjoy the idea for a little while" proving that he knows his father would never approve and the chances of him ever even getting to do it are slim, bit he just wants to ignore the issue and try to be happy about this for a little.

He then asks Todd if he's going to the next meeting and Todd says he's not sure. Neil then tells Todd that he has to get out there and do something, he can't just hide forever. Todd tells Neil "I'm not like you, alright? You say things and people listen. I'm not like that" (no seriously where are the cameras)

Todd then tells Neil to butt out and that he can take care of himself, but Neil is like "nuh uh" so Todd goes "fym nuh uh?" So Neil smiles, steals Todd's book, and runs around the room with Todd chasing him, laughing. Neil reads it and says "this is poetry! I'm bring chased by Walt Whitman!" The specific decision here for Neil to say "Walt Whitman" instead of any other poet, any poet at all, feels intentional as Walt Whitman is famously a homosexual man. This is not on Neil btw, this is on the scriptwriters.

In this scene it's interesting to note how quickly they went from what seemed to be arguing to running around and laughing.

In a later scene we see Neil excited about getting the aprt he wanted in the play and he enters his dorm with Todd already in there to forge a letter in his father's name that says he's allowed to do the play. Todd is clearly happy for him, but is about to tell him it's not that good of an idea but Neil cuts him off with an excited like... uh... idk whatever that sound was.

In the next scene in Mr Keating's class, everyone is reading the poems he told them to write. He asks Todd to say his, but he says he didn't write a poem. Mr Keating is like "bitch you lyin" and tells him to come up with a poem on the spot. He covers Todd's eyes to try and free him of his fear of speaking in front of others and Todd comes up with a poem. The poem seems to impress Mr Keating, but more importantly, Neil. This scene doesn't focus on anyone else, doesn't show any reactions, only Neil's. The only focus when it comes to Todd's poem... is Neil.

Later on, while Neil is walking back to the dorms he sees Todd sitting alone one the floor. He walks up to him and asks what's going on to which Todd replies that today is his birthday. So Neil asks what he got and Todd says his parents got him a desk set. Neil is about to say "isn't this the same desk set you already have" but is cut off by Todd saying that it's the same desk set they got him last year.

Neil tries to lighten the situation by saying "maybe they thought you needed another one" and Todd says he doesn't think they were thinking about anything at all. Then he says "funny thing is, I didn't even like it the first time." Neil then immediately is like 'oh no we can't have that attitude' so he says to Todd, jokingly, that he's underestimating the value of a desk set. I mean, who would want a football or a baseball or a car when they could have this here desk set. I mean, if he were to buy a desk set twice, he would probably buy this one. Both times. He then says that the desk set looks a little aerodynamic. He says a quote anderperry shippers repeat endlessly, he says, "this desk set wants to fly." He passes it onto Todd, saying "the world's first unmanned flying desk set" as Todd throws the desk set qnd watches it fall to the ground (they're on the roof btw). They watch it break and Neil says "well, I wouldn't worry... you'll get another one next year" and they both laugh.

Todd starts this scene upset about how little his parents care about him, not even caring to get him a proper birthday present, and yet he ends it laughing with Neil about it. Neil specifically.

The day before the play Neil goes back to the dorms to find his father waiting for him. He tells Neil he found out about the play. He reprimand him for going behind his back and tells him he embarrassed him in front of other people, that he "made a liar out of him" and other such things. He tells Neil that he's going there tomorrow and telling them he's quitting the play, or else. Then he leaves Neil.

Neil later goes to Mr Keating and explains the situation to him. He tells Mr Keating that his heart is in acting, it's what he really wants to do, and his father doesn't approve. Mr Keating tells him to tell his father that and Neil says "I can't talk to my father like that" basically saying he can't be open and honest with him. Mr Keating says "well tell him anyway and if he says no you'll be out of school by then and you can do whatever you want." So Neil is like "Yeah okay I'll talk to him" SPOILER ALERT: he never does.

So it's the night of the play and everyone is there to watch. Knox. Charlie. Mr Keating. Pitts. Todd. Cameron. Meeks. A lot of people are there. And in this scene Todd has ckearly gotten his confidence up, joking with the rest of the guys casually. Neil does the play and we see Charlie tell Mr Keating "he's good, he's really good" and we see Todd looking totally heterosexually in awe. Like when Todd read his poem aloud and Neil was staring at him in awe. Neil here thinks his father isn't gonna be at the play so he can get through it without him ever finding out. But uh oh, who's that in the crowd? It's the whore! I mean-- his father!

So he drags Neil away and back home where he shouts at him saying that he's doing it all "for his own good" and that he should forget about acting. He says that since Neil is adamant on disobeying him, he's taking him out of Hellton and sending him to a military school. When Neil tries to stand up for himself and explain how he feels, the whore uses a manipulation technique I like to call: "tell me one time I did that" which is basically just a technique where when a victim tries to explain their point of view, instead of listening or even combating their claims, the manipulator tells the victim "tell me" in an angry tone of voice. The manipulator here isn't really saying "tell me what I did to hurt you" or "tell me what you feel" what they're saying is "justify your pain to me." This technique paralyzes the victim, not only because of the unexpected response, but also because deep down the victim knows what they say won't be heard. It'll only be used as another attack at them. Any word the victim was about to try and say dies on their tongue and every thought disappears. Here, Mr Perry isn't telling Neil to tell him how he feels, he's telling Neil to justify himself to him. Justify why he went behind his back to do this. And Neil can't. Because he knows what'll happen if he says the truth. His passion will never be enough justification for his father, because as far as his father is concerned, the only thing that matters is graduating med school and becoming a doctor. So Neil says nothing. As his father exits the room his mother tries to comfort him, she doesn't say anything though, and Neil says "I was good... I was really good."

Later on we see Neil taking off only his shirt and opening the windows of his room letting the snow in. He puts on the crown of his costume as he stares out the window. We then see him sneaking into his father's study and using a key to open a drawer... with a gun in it. 

His father wakes up to the sound of a bang and goes into Neil's room to check on him only to find he's not there and his window is open with the crown of his costume left on the sill. He goes downstairs and sees the door to his study open so he enters. He smells smoke. Gunfire smoke. And it hits him. You see his eyes go wide as he checks behind his desk to find Neil. Dead. He shouts "No! My boy! My poor boy!" As if he has any right to.

Neil killed himself.

We cut to Todd sleeping. Charlie waking him up gently. Todd asks what's going on and Charlie tells him what happened. Neil's dead.

We cut to the outside in the snow. Todd walks out into the open, the rest of the group follows behind him, confused. Todd looks around the snow before saying "it's so beautiful" and then... he starts breaking down. He kneels down in the snow and starts crying. He says that Neil didn't do this, he would never do this, he would never leave us. His father did it, his father killed him, he made him do it. He gets up and starts running, shouting Neil's name. Here he specifically runs toward the dock. There's a deleted scene where Todd helps Neil memorize his lines on the dock. Todd running to the dock here is probably in reference to that scene. He's looking for him. And the scene ends.

At the end of the movie, Mr Keating is kicked out of the school because the whore, instead of admitting that he was a whore, blamed Mr Keating for "filling Neil's head with ideas" and all that bullshit. Cameron is quick to throw Mr Keating under the bus to save his own skin cause he's a dumbfuck ass-kisser and Charlie gets expelled after punching him for it. Everyone else is forced to comply and throw Mr Keating under the bus so they're not expelled too. As Mr Keating enters class in the middle of English with a substitute teacher just to collect some of his stuff, everyone goes silent. Just as he's about to leave, Todd is the one who stands up on his desk and says "O'  Captain! My Captain!" This is the name of a poem by Walt Whitman. The first poem Mr Keating ever taught to the class. It's why, throughout the movie, everyone calls him "captain".  Knox follows suit. Standing on his desk, saying "O' Captain! My Captain!" Then Pitts. More people stand up. The entire cast of known characters except for Cameron, who's a little bitch and stayed seated, Neil, who's dead and his desk lay empty, and Charlie, who's expelled. Even if he was fired, Mr Keating still left an impact on all these people. Everyone who stood up that day. Todd most of all. Going from being shy and barely able to say a word for the crippling fear of messing up of disappointing others to standing up on a desk in the middle of class.

And the movie ends.

Throughout the movie we see Neil help Todd get out of his shell more and more. We see Todd be supportive of Neil's dream of being an actor. We see them become close friends. We see them smile at each other with such profound affection in their eyes, we see them joke together at their lowest, we see them grow as people side by side. And it sucks that, when Neil needed someone else the most... his father took him away from his only support. His friends. And all that growth never continued. It sucks that Neil never got to see Todd take that bold move, stand up on that desk and say "O' Captain, My Captain" that Todd had to blame Mr Keating for an action Neil took because of his own father, that Charlie had to get expelled for standing up for Mr Keating even though he was right, that all of this happened in the first place.

But it did. And for a moment. Even if for just a moment. Everything was perfect. Neil was living out his dream of acting. Todd was more confident in himself. Charlie was... well, Charlie. Knox got together with his crush, Chris. Everyone was prouder, bolder, happier. They siezed the day. And though it may not have ended the way anyone wanted. At least it happened. They were all happy for a moment. Even if for just a moment. It's a bittersweet ending.

The movie was made in 1989 so even if Todd and Neil were intended to be gay, they definitely wouldn't have been allowed to do that, at least not without controversy. But if you ask me, I don't want that. The point of the movie isn't that Todd and Neil are in love. It's that, no matter what, you need to get up and sieze the day. If there's one thing the movie wants you to walk away with. It's to be bold. Carpe diem! Sieze the day! Whatever you want to call it. That's the point.

But yes, Neil and Todd were 100% intended to be coded as queer. Choices like Walt Whitman being the poet they mention throughout the film, a poet known for being gay, choices like focusing on Neil's reaction to Todd's poem, and Neil specifically, choices like that and scenes like that and things like that make it clear that the writer's intent is for them to be gay. It's queercoding. Anyway yeah, I had to relive Neil's death scene to write this essay, so you better appreciate it cause I fucking cried.

Bonus:

Girl- who tf stares at their best friend like this without being gay

Ah yes. A heterosexual staring lovingly at his best friend after he recites an impromptu poem during class:

Idk about you guys but I am not staring at my best friend like this so either they're gay... or they're gay.

backflips

Update: cannot move in this dress. My friend is really sick and I have been trying to convince her to go to the doctor and she does not want to. But the party is wonderland themed and ig this is pretty fun so