i want to fucking kil myself. My mother shouted at me for a fucking PEN. i didnt even do anything i asked tmy freind for a pen because mine leaked and i gave it back and she emssages me like "hey i dont have my pen do you have it cause i agve it to you?" and my mother keeps yelling at me for loosing somebody elses things WHEN I GAVE IT BACK. I GAVE IT BACK THAT GIRL PROBABLY LOST IT BY EHRSELF AT SCHOOL OR SOMETHING I DONT FUCKING KNOW? I VIVIDLY REMEMEBR GIVING IT BACK. and now im sitting here crying in my room because my own mother called me a stupid mindless beggar who doesnt understand the worth of anything. I'm going to commit tonight i swear to fucking god. If i dont respond tomorrow it means it worked. bye.
idk if this is gonna get to you but PLEASE do not kill yourself. I know how you feel, I get it. Nobody loves you and it would be better if you just went away, right? Everyone would be happier without you, right? It's never gonna get better so why put myself through it, right? I've been there. I've thought that way too. But it does get better. I know everyone says that and you never believe it because it feels like it only gets worse and worse, but trust me, it does.
Back when I wanted to die the mgm community is what kept me going. I kept posting on there even if I was the only one around because it gave me something to live for. Waiting for everyone else to come back. And then it got better. I moved to a new place and a new school. I made real friends. I still feel terrible sometimes, I still feel like I did before, but I haven't seriously considered killing myself for the longest time in a long time. It does get better. No matter how bad it is now. No matter how bad it continues to get. At some point it does get better. Even if it takes a while.
Please. You're one of the only friends I have left on here. We were supposed to make a show together, remember? Please just come back.
"alright so- CHASE DOWN MEW! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! INAI NAI TEKA CHOUSHI DOU? MITA KOTO NAI ANO POKEMON ZETTAI KATTE SONDE GETTO DA ZE! YUH
DOKO NI MO INAI SHI MAJIME NA HANASHI FUSHIGI NA ANO KO MAJI MABOROSHI? SAGASHITENAI BASHO NANTE NAKUNAI? DASHI! YADA MOU MURI KUNAI? TADA REBERU AGARU DAKE NONKI YOUKI MUJAKI NANDA TTE II NO! POKESEN? GEESEN? SASUGA NI INAI KA W "UNMEITE KI NA DEAI" KITAI SHITE “AIGACCHUU!"
me cause I don't have a record player, I don't have any vinyl records, I don't own all my favorite band albums, I don't have posters on my walls, I don't have an electric guitar in the corner of my room, I don't own a motorcycle, I don't have fingerless gloves that fit well, I don't have the clothes I want, I don't have a room with interesting colors, I don't have LED lights, I don't have fairy lights, I don't have a display case with all my stuff in it, I don't have a music cassette to put in my parent's old boombox, I don't know how to play the drums, I don't know how to write songs, I don't know how to do my makeup beyond eyeshadow and lipstick, and I'm really not nearly as cool as I think I am:
Fun fact: in hinduism, there's an actual DAY which says "nah fuck studying" and you're not allowed to study that day. It's called "kalamband" which litterally translates to "pen close"
REALLL like if you pick up a pen to study you have to endure your mother going "hey you know it's kalamband today you can't study" for the first time in your fucking life it's AMAZING. MAJORRR W
Me when I write a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but me cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again:
It's writing a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but it cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again.
So like Teen Wolf, right? It's a show that exists. Sterek, right? It's a ship in said show. Actually. The single most popular ship in the show. Actually. On ao3 it beats EVEN THE CHARACTER TAGS which is NOT a common thing. Like usually the top tag for a fandom is a character tag, but no, here it's THE SHIP STEREK.
Anyway- this is like this because like... I mean the evidence... let's just say it's understandable.
But the thing about this ship is that like- it is just so clearly queerbait, like they practically hand it to you on a silver platter, but for some reason the fandom is delusional and 100% convinced that it's totally queercoding.
Sterek is the slash ship between Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski. Derek Hale is a werewolf, Stiles is a regular degular guy. Both of their characters play off each other well since they contrast a little what with Stiles being an overcompensating know-it-all who uses sarcasm and humor to hide his insecurities and Derek being a stoic angry loner type who takes things a little too seriously. Because of this the characters were often paired for scenes and naturally the fandom started shipping them.
Then the show decided "hey... why don't we lean into this more."
So in season 2... wonderful, beautiful season 2... this lizard creature with the ability to paralyze people comes along. And... oh boy.
One scene worth pointing out is a scene where the lizard thing, called a Kanima, paralyzes both Derek and Stiles. In this scene, they JUST SO HAPPEN to fall ON TOP OF EACH OTHER, and it JUST SO HAPPENS that they fall in a particular manner in which Stiles is on top of Derek with his head on his shoulder and his chest on Derek's. They could've so easily had Stules fall NEXT TO Derek, or at least had him fall in a different position with less of a romantic connotation. But they didn't. And just to throw salt in the wound, the antagonist even says, when they demand that they no longer be on top of each other, that Derek and Stiles "make a pretty good pair"... I bet the writers room was fucking cackling.
Another very notable scene is one that's not played off as a joke unlike the first one. Derek is paralyzed, Stiles is not. The Kanima can't swim so there in the pool with it waiting outside, stalking them. Since Derek is paralyzed, Stiles has to be the one to keep him afloat in the pool so he doesn't drown. Derek mentions that Stiles is only keeping Derek alive out of necessity, basically saying that since Stiles is powerless he needs Derek to fight off the Kanima for him and that's the only reason he's keeping him afloat and not because he actually gives a shit. Stiles takes offense to this and so he leaves Derek and swims to shore to try to grab a phone to call for help. Stiles fails then goes back to save Derek from drowning. And... dude. He risked his life to prove to Derek that not only does he not need him to survive this, but also that he's not saving Derek out of any sort of necessity, no, he's saving Derek... because he actually fucking cares. And Derek has major trust issues so doing something like this, risking your life to prove you care, is like... dude. So obviously since this is an important character moment it's literally never brought up again and we move on from it and that's that. Sigh... of course.
Then in season 3, Stiles is now the antagonist. And up to this point Stiles and Derek's opinions on what to do with antagonists has been pretty much the same "why don't we just kill them" but now it's Stiles who's the antagonist and he's like "guys, if I lose myself completely, just kill me" because he's being possessed by the Nogitsune and isn't intentionally the antagonist ofc. But Derek, a man who has, up until this point, been pretty okay with murder, is suddenly like "guys no matter what, we can't kill Stiles"... what's with the switch up Derek... why are we changing opinions now? His change in behavior toward this is never addressed.
The other seasons continue with pretty much similar type shit. Derek and Stiles are often paired up for scenes. There are fleeting moments of mentioning how weird their relationship is, certain scenes that just seem so questionable that the directors and writers could've easily cut out or changed, and just thing after thing that is so clearly gay but also... not.
Then in the last season of the show, Stiles gets with Lydia Martin, a character he has been shown to be attracted to but up until now she hasn't really shown much reciprocation for these feelings except for fleeting moments. The relationship feels a little shoehorned in at the last season for fanservice. Then that was the end of it.
...until 2023 of course.
In 2023 they decided "hey guys why don't we do a movie" and everyone agreed except for the actor for Stiles. So the movie goes on without him. In the movie Stiles is clearly absent and this is explained in the movie by him being part of the FBI. This makes sense character wise and story wise.
We see in the movie that Derek now has a child. Who is the mother of said child? 🤷♀️. But I do know this. According to the casting director, the actor chosen for the child was chosen because he "reminded me of Stiles"... the actor for Derek's child... was picked because he reminded the casting director of Stiles... ha... haha...
Stiles's car is also in the movie. It's with Derek now. Yeah. And uh Derek is overprotective... of the car. One of the characters even states outwardly "that car meant a lot to Derek"... yeah... the car is what we're talking about here... sure.
This movie reads like fanfiction... and I don't think that's a coincidence.
We already know all the scenes and questionable choices that happened in the show, but to really make it clear why this is so queerbait we need to go behind the camera. Back to the Teen Wolf show.
During the Teen Choice Awards each show nominated was tasked with making a short video convincing teens to vote for them to win. Teen Wolf's video had... the actors for Stiles and Derek... sitting on a ship... practically all over each other... saying basically "vite for Teen Wolf and you might get to see our characters do more stuff like this"... 😰
I don't think I need to explain when I say that is just so clearly a queerbait move. Making an empty promise of queer rep in exchange for something that would get the creators of Teen Wolf more money... yeah that's literally queerbait. The definition of it actually.
Fast forward to the movie. Whenever it comes to Derek and Stiles the cast and crew and such always say things that are just bordering on gay, but never explicitly saying it. And this is in 2023. They're not gonna explode if they say the word gay on screen. But it's always avoidant of the topic it's always just shy of screaming gay, they can never quite say it. It's almost like... almost like they don't actually care and just want the money so they're giving the shippers crumbs while never giving them a full meal so they don't lose their homophobic audiences... but no that can't possible be... can it?
Yes it can. Yes it is. Sterek si the single most obvious clear as day representation of queerbait I have ever seen in my life and yet the random and shipper are either blissfully ignorant or just so so oblivious to the reality of the matter. Why do the creators always dance around the topic of Sterek? Why do the writers add unnecessary scenes that are a little odd to say the least only to then forget about those scenes and never bring them up again? Why do the directors shoot some scenes in specific questionable ways that are never directly addressed? Because it's all a big fat lie. A lie that everyone fell for, hook line and sinker.
No the dates may be different but it always comes in the same season according to the Hindu calander at the kartik amavasya which is the new moon of the season of kartik(spetember end-october end if I'm not mistaken I might have to ask my mother) so kinda
ooo okay how the fuck do i explain this cause you'd have to know alot about hindu mythology(dear god im forced to call it a mythology) first of all- help i feel the need to js explain the entire ramayana to you because the online sources get it so wrong and i practically CAN'T get it wrong because 1.My mother is going to kill me if i get something wrong 2.we litterally HAVE the reprint of the ORIGINAL book in our house so.
I literally failed so miserably I can't even rn. The dude next to me kept looking at my paper and cheating from me and I'm just like "dude... I don't think you wanna do that"
weird sensations i never knew I'd experience, part 1: remember how i chipped part of my two front teeth? yeah uh. I now understand what my teacher meant when she said that teeth have nerves inside them. Because now everytime i eat or drink something i feel this very weird..oddly-sweet(?) sensation on(?) my teeth and it's like my body's saying "ayo tf? how is the food TOUCHING the nerves?" yeah uh, sorry body, thats kinda on me :upsidedown-face:
if somebody tells me one more fucking time that "nobody's going to notice" i will actually jump is2g do you KNOW the kids in my class?? knowing them I'll probably get bullied till the day i DIE and plus i look so bad too i wouldnt even blame them cause i'd want to bully myself for looking like this too real yeah so i think im just going to become Komi now. i already look like her(minus the pale skin cause im not Japanese) so i think i'll just ocmmunicate with a notebook until i meet my tadano :disappointed-relieved:
Real like last time I remember I got bullied for liking anime by this little nerd ass bitch who's like half my height and I could probably punt him to the sun
ITS CANON!?????!/1?!?!?!?!??!?!?!/!?!?!/1/1?!?1//1/!?!?(well no it isnt cause ik you assagiri BUT STILL HOLY SHIT?)
oh my god OH MY GOD OHMYGODOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGM ITS CANOCNONAONCOASNO NOANSCO THANK YOU HOSHIKAWA-SAN!11!!!!1!(and asagiri but im still salty abt the new chapters)
well it IS Bungou stray dogs (but the Dazai, Chuuya, 15 opne) but js so yknow they arent actually canon but this manga panel is canon which makes it borderline canon.
Yea just bruised and a couple of scratches. No severe injuries or anything. My bruises hurt pretty bad but I was able to limit the swelling and they're not very clear so from the outside looking in as long as you ignore the plaster, it's like nothing ever even happened. Still hurts but whatever, the pain should go in about 3 days maybe 4 because school might force me to walk and be more active which can make the bruise worse.
I love how this is me everytime any sort of traumatic event happens to me: haha lol someone broke into my house while I was in the bathroom lmao, it's a good thing they didn't check in there, would hate for them to catch me with my pants down haha get it? Get it? I know I'm crying from pure terror, ignore that, is the joke funny or not?
The depression brings about whimsy because it's the only thing that keeps me from totally falling apart.
it didn't actually happen. I don't think. Just my brain hearing noises outside and going "Yep that's someone here to kill you." It happens dw no one broke in
But I definitely did think someone did and I even texted my friend while crying 100% convinced I was gonna die. And I made that exact same joke. About getting caught with my pants down. I actually made multiple jokes. A concerning amount for someone who thought they were about to die.
Lowkey I hate the fact that I had to verify my email again
Cus I use my mother's phone and her email storage was full so when I cleared all that itch just hit me with a "Hey girlie!☺️ You're not getting your account back."
SO I HAD TO MAKE A NEW ONE AND SPENT LIKE 1000+ HOURS LOOKING FOR THIS GROUP AGAIN FROM THE OLD COMMENTS ON MGM BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE IT BOOKMARKED ON CHROME
WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT PNEUMONIA LIKE "oh yeah it was nothing" BRO PNEUMONIA CAN BE FATAL (I say like that isn't literally the exact way I talked about that one time I almost died)
im fine reallyy it wasnt that bad oh elon musk removed the like option so now everyone's using different versions of the MII "Yeah!" thing and i keep seeing the hatsune miku version..
I'm sure you can already tell, but I am not doing good! In fact, I'm doing very very shit rn! School is kicking my ass, the ACTs are kicking my ass, my entire life is kicking my fucking ass.
So, needless to say, I am this fucking close to losing my shit, but it's okay! I can always go find it later! Anyway, I need to go scream and cry into my pillow for the next hour.
It is really difficult to resist the urge to be mean sometimes.
Like the other day my class was in the gc talking about colors for our senior uniform next year (the seniors get a specialized uniform and other perks and such) and I was trying to push for a CMYK color pallette but my class pretty much ignored my existence so whatever, I stopped caring and let them decide amongst themselves. They're big boys they can deal with it.
That's when someone privately messaged me. This bitch named Karma who was all like "I'm sure you know who I am" like- okay, whatever, Karma. And she's all like "did you vote for the uniform color?" So I said no.
She then said to look at the colors and see which one I liked best, and the contest was between these two colors, blue and purple. I went blue because I like it more than purple and if I'm pushing for CMYK, it is in my interest to pick the blue. I tell her this and she's like "oh but... don't you wanna pick the purple though?"
Oh is that what this is? You're not being all nice to me and asking if I voted because you actually care. You just want me to vote for the one you want. Okay, Karma. Fine. I'll vote for the purple if it'll make you shut the fuck up.
Is what I would have said if I wasn't trying to be nice. So I just went "okay purple ig" and voted purple. Then ignored her "thank you" message cause, frankly, you couldn't pay me to give a shit.
I had to actively resist calling every single one of my classmates brain dead assholes yesterday. They're all actually so annoying and I could keep telling stories about how much they piss me off, but I think you get the point.
If only saying "how the fuck did you make it past third grade" was okay.
Me when the show has SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be SO GOOD but the writers are just so fucking terrible-
Miraculous Ladybug (at this point the show is a joke and it kills me that it could've been a lot more than what it is)
Voltron (imagine killing all your characters both metaphorically and physically and the only characters you didn't kill are characters who were hardly even characters in the first place)
Star vs the Forces of Evil (sigh... no comment.)
Glee (as much as this show is... certainly a show and everyone loves to shit on it you can't deny that the idea itself COULD have been actually good)
Stranger Things (needs a whole essay by itself cause... yikes)
I'm going to preface this essay by saying, I have not read any of the books except for screenshots from people who actually have them, so this essay is strictly going to be about the show and maybe like... five book pages idk-
Spoilers, duh. But the essay is better if you haven't watched the show, but don't read it if you're ever planning to. This is like majorly important plot spoilers.
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Old Man McGucket. The crazy old guy who actually turns out to have a hell of a lot of plot relevance in a crazy twist that was foreshadowed in a way that people generally overlooked as "crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show". Wait a minute...
(vine boom goes here)
Yeah, McGucket and Simon are pretty similar for multiple reasons. But we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about the incredibly dark reality of Old Man McGucket. A man who didn't lose his mind, but instead, locked it away himself.
THE SHOW:
We are introduced to McGucket in the second episode of the first season, The Legend of the Gobblewonker. Grunkle Stan drags Dipper and Mabel to go fishing with him, as they're there, they see this crazy old man screaming about something called a "Gobblewonker" a strange Loch Ness Monster type creature that hides out on a mysterious island off the shore. Everyone calls him crazy, but Dipper and Mabel decide to go hunt down this Gobblewonker and take a picture of it to win a photo contest, ditching Grunkle Stan in the process. Eventually they learn that the "Gobblewonker" isn't actually real, but instead a robot made by the crazy old guy at the start in order to get attention from his son. This crazy old guy is Old Man McGucket.
Immediately from this first episode intro we learn a couple of things about Old Man McGucket. He has a son, who is never mentioned ever again in the show. His wife left him. He has a knack for machinery. He's generally viewed as crazy by the characters, and, let's be honest... he is. Now immediately you have a couple of questions. Why is this crazy old guy a robot genius? He doesn't seem like a mad scientist type, more like a hillbilly. So what's up with that? Good question. Keep that in your pocket for now.
For the rest of the season McGucket never really shows up in any prominent roles. He's really just a crazy old hillbilly prospector-y guy who just so happens to be pretty good with machines. It's not really questioned. It is brought up multiple times, but otherwise ignored. So, whatever. Crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show, right? Well not this crazy shenanigans show, because, ultimately, Gravity Falls is made for theorists and mystery solvers. Encoded messages. Hidden clues. Itty bitty details that all allude to the bigger picture. The solution to the question... what is going on in Gravity Falls? That and who wrote The Journals, but that's not the point.
The point is that the Gravity Falls fandom is full of people who look into every little detail to solve mysteries. So McGucket being good with machines? No way that's just a crazy shenanigan.
So, what do we know about the author of the journals? He had six fingers. He was good with machines. He's probably been in Gravity Falls for a while. And Journal 3 is his last journal he was writing before he mysteriously... stopped.
McGucket fits two of those. Good with machines and lived in Gravity Falls for a while. But... we can reasonably make him fit the other two. Six fingers? His right arm is in a cast. Maybe he used to have six fingers, maybe something happened. Writing mysteriously stopped? McGucket is repeatedly shown to be basically insane so... maybe that's why he stopped writing the journals. Because something so horrific and terrible happened to him that he lost his mind, and so he stopped writing. That's it. All the signs point to-
Oh. Nevermind then.
Now that the theory is no longer that McGucket is the author of the journals, and instead it's Stan's secret twin brother... then who is McGucket?
For that... we need to look at season 2.
Specifically the episodes 2, 4, and 7.
Season 2, episode 2, Into the Bunker is partially an episode about Dipper's crush on Wendy and partially a lore episode. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy head on an adventure to find the author of the journals's secret hideout, which is apparently in a tree. They find it and make it in. While down there they find a shapeshifting monster that tries to kill them and steal Journal 3. They escape, trapping the monster in a cryochamber and immediately leaving the secret hideout. On the way out, Soos managed to grab what he thought was a briefcase. As it turns out, the "briefcase" was, in fact, an only slightly wrecked laptop with the words "Property of F" written at the top. Soos says he can fix it and that's the episode. (Minus Wendy and Dipper stuff)
Season 2, episode 4, Sock Opera. Soos has finally fixed the laptop so now all Dipper and Mabel need to do is open it and they'll figure it all out. The author of the journals, the secrets of Gravity Falls, all of it at the click of a button! Exceepptt the laptop is unfortunately password locked. An eight letter word is between them and... essentially, everything the show has built up toward. Mabel gets distracted making a sock opera to impress a boy, and in an act of desperation, Dipper makes a deal with Bill Cipher, the main antagonist of the entire show, for a vessel in exchange for the password to the laptop. Bill takes over Dipper's body and immediately smashes the laptop thereby destroying any chance of opening it and we never find out the password. Bill is defeated in the end, but the laptop is destroyed and they're no closer to finding the author of the journals than before. Or are they? (Vsauce music starts)
Season 2. Episode 7. Society of the Blind Eye. We open on Lazy Susan closing up the diner. We see her kick out some rats, and Old Man McGucket from underneath a table, then on her way out she sees the gnomes from episode one stealing her pie. She's shocked, startled, bamboozled, but before she can really react a bunch of people wearing red coats just... take her away. Then the opening plays.
We're back to Mabel and Dipper trying to find the author of the journals, and upon closer inspection of the destroyed laptop that supposedly belonged to the author, they see a branding thing on it. This little piece of metal that says "McGucket Labs" so they piece together that McGucket could be the author of the journals. His first name is Fiddleford (I think this is the first time we learn that in the show), and the laptop says "Property of F", and all the evidence adds up. Of course, most of the fandom by now has moved on from the McGucket theory. So there's no way that's all there is to this episode. Of course not. That'd be incredibly stupid and a huge waste of time covering this episode.
So Mabel and Dipper go running to find McGucket. They find him with his house being vandalized by teens writing the words "Mc Suck-it" and McGucket promptly shooing them off his property. Dipper tells McGucket to drop the act and that he knows who he is, but McGucket says he hardly remembers anything. So they got to the last place he can recall in his memory which is the museum.
At the museum they discover a secret passageway which leads them to a secret meeting between a bunch of people in red robes. They all watch as the robed men erase Lazy Susan's memory of the gnomes with some weird looking ray gun. They conclude that the weird robed guys are the reason McGucket can't remember anything. That they did something to him to make him the way he is. So they resolve to find McGucket's memories and bring them back so he can remember everything.
After fighting the Blind Eye Society and then erasing all their memories of the society ever existing, they finally go to watch McGucket's memories and figure out everything that happened. And this... is where everything is revealed.
They play the memories, and we see a young man on screen. He's wearing glasses, a blazer and tie, and looks to be of good health and sound mind. He introduces himself as Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. He explains that he, for the past year, has been helping this scientist, the author of the journals, build some kind of... machine. But... something went wrong. Something terrible. So terrible that it haunts McGucket every day. So he invented something. Something to erase this terrible memory of what he helped build. The ray gun that the Blind Eye Society used. The very first thing he erases from his mind is erased right in front of us. He erases... "Fiddleford". The very first thing McGucket took away from his own brain... is himself.
We watch him come up with the Society of the Blind Eye. A society made to help people forget the terrible things they've seen. To help everyone live in blissful ignorance of what's really going on in Gravity Falls. The zombies. The gnomes. Everything.
We watch as McGucket erases more of his memories. We watch him get older, we watch his hair grey, we watch his beard grow, his glasses break and eventually disappear. We watch as he starts to forget words, talk faster. We watch him progressively lose his mind more and more. We watch him erase his own memories... to the point of no return. No one did this to McGucket. He did this to himself.
But... what happened to drive him to such drastic measures? What made him become so paranoid and so scared that he locked his memories away in hopes of never thinking about it again? What did McGucket see?
For that... we need to go back. Way back.
FIDDLEFORD HADRON MCGUCKET:
Fiddleford McGucket. Grew up on a hog farm in Tennessee with, well, not exactly what you call a lot of money.
He was, however, skilled in mechanics, and was pretty smart, which got him into Backupsmore University in the mid-1970s where he met Stanford Pines. The author of the journals and the twin brother of Stanley Pines. After he graduated he made his own computer business called "Fiddleford Computermajigs" but in the middle of his work he received a call from Ford saying he needed a mechanical genius to help him build a transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex in his basement in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Fiddleford agrees, leaving his wife and son behind.
From then on, Fiddleford was Ford's research assistant. He helped Ford with all of his studies and any machine building needs, and even was so nice as to get him a Christmas present, yet forgot to get one for his actual wife. By the way, the password to his laptop, the one found in the bunker, was "Stanford" which is certainly a choice. But we're not here to talk about doomed old man yaoi, back to the normal conversation.
So, while Fiddleford was working with Ford, a Gremloblin, half goblin, half gremlin, attacks Fiddleford staring him right in the eyes which makes him see his worst nightmare. We don't actually know what Fiddleford saw in the Gremloblin's eyes. But we do know how it affected him. In the physical copy of Journal 3 we learn more. Stanford writes that he's been worried about Fiddleford since his encounter with the Gremloblin, saying that he hasn't slept or even fixed his Rubik's Cube since then. He tells Fiddleford to "use his creativity to solve his problems" intending to talk about meditation and such, but as we know... Fiddleford didn't quite take it like that. He used his creativity alright. He used it to build the mind eraser gun. Soon enough Fiddleford started to rely on the gun for everything. Every bad memory, every painful experience, everything he just didn't want to think about anymore. It worked like a drug, and boy, was Fiddleford an addict.
When Ford confronted him, Fiddleford, instead of dealing with his problems, simply erased Ford's memory of the gun entirely so he could use it freely without Ford knowing. Ford, of course, already wrote about the gun in the journal, so while he forgot about it, it was written down so he knew it existed. It's also implied that Fiddleford used the gun multiple times on Ford.
Nonetheless construction continues on the transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex. During a test run where they sent a dummy into the metavotrex, Fiddleford's leg got caught on the rope and he was therefore dragged through the metavortex, seeing the other side briefly before Ford saved him.
Once he emerged, Ford asked what he saw and Fiddleford immediately told Ford that the portal was in fact dangerous and he never should've built it in the first place. He said it would bring about the end of the world and to "fear the beast with just one eye"
What? This guy? He's a floating dorito chip, I'm sure he's harmless...
(He's wanted in the entire multiverse.)
So, Fiddleford quits the project saying he'd "just as soon forget" and so... he erased his mind of what he saw on the other side of the portal. And he started... the society of the blind eye. In Journal 3, Ford writes about how he's had weird dreams of Fiddleford looming in the dark with a red robe on, and he wonders if they were really just dreams. Fiddleford has probably erased a lot from Ford's mind and plenty of the townsfolk, but to no degree near what he's erased from his own mind.
It only got worse. And worse. And worse. Until he, of course, became the Old Man McGucket we see at the start of the show. Of course, he still retains just a little bit of his former identity, before he became what he is. This shows in his skill with mechanical engineering, and also his knowledge of things like the Gobblewonker. Even in this... state, he can't ever truly forget everything he's tried so hard to.
Fiddleford went through a great trauma that left him mentally unwell, and how did he cope? By shoving it all into a high security prison in the corner of his mind where he never had to think about any of it ever again. This of course is a terrible coping mechanism because, none of it is actually ever gone... it's just hidden from view. And it'll never be fully gone of course, but shoving it away only makes it worse, like prisoners working out and getting super buff in prison.
All of this damaged McGucket's brain so badly that the memory gun couldn't even be used on him anymore. That's how bad it got.
In The Book Of Bill, Bill actually talks about an attempt to possess Fiddleford. And this... is what urged me to write this essay. Bill Cipher, the person who literally laughs at pain, like literally laughs, he enjoys it, went into Fiddleford's mind and he says that he's never been in a mind so damaged, so broken, so shattered beyond repair, that it actually hurt. And, in his words, "for the first time, I felt a pain that wasn't funny."
Bill Cipher, the guy who finds great pleasure in being a manipulative asshole and TORTURING PEOPLE, said this. The unimaginable pain and suffering McGucket must be going through, the torture that was inflicted on him as well as the torture he inflicted upon himself... it was so bad, that not even Bill Cipher could laugh. What was originally just a crazy old guy with possible ties to the Author... turned out to be a deeply damaged and traumatized man.
This is the most tragic character in Gravity Falls. I don't even know how to end this essay... I can't even make a joke.
I really need to finish reading Hitchiker's Guide because it's melting my brain with thoughts of it and yet I still haven't picked the book up in days.
i might babble a bit too much but i can NOT get over this performance. well the entire tour itself, but the iconic 1989 tour in 2014-2015. honestly this WAS her best vocal tour recorded. not eras, not reputation, not speak now, not red, and not fearless, but 1989 honestly will always be my favorite vocal concert of taylor’s. her voice was so young but so STRONG at the same time, and sadly she did hurt her vocals to make such rough notes while she sang at this concert but like
this just proves WHY people call her the music industry. she was only 26, and she was singing CRAZY vocals, and with only FIVE albums released. either way, she had been making records SINCE 2007 when she released debut. literally 2009 and she’s selling out STADIUMS for her second album, and she was TWENTY. insane, it will always blow my mind. but let’s focus on 1989 rn
so 1989 era was really a handful, since during it she went through her ED, and she was JUST beginning to release her pop music, like 1989 was her first pop album after doing mostly country for 8 years. but the concert oh my GOD i would’ve died if i could’ve gone…my cousin went she calls it a fuckin’ fever dream dude 😭, like yes, movie/documentary is VERY badly edited and all but like
the VOCALS people, the VOCALS.
take example one of her most iconic performances till this fucking day
like wow, it never fails to actually shock me to how good she sounds. this was the best bridge before any of her newer albums came out, but the way she sings so loud and so powerful is just like chilling everytime i listen to it
i could write an essay based on this fucking performance SOLEY, THATS how good it is. not a lot of singers are labeled; “THE music industry” at the age of 26. and since then, she’s maintained that title with other amazing albums…she recorded NINE albums in FIVE years while touring and filming TWO documentaries. that is WHAT the music industry does. but 1989 era oh my god what a time that was
don’t even get me started on reputation and eras tour like those
they literally
like.
wow.
mind boggling.
but yeah she’s my favorite artist for a reason lmao 😭
Oh wow, the character limit is like my biggest enemy rn, but I just need confirmation. Listen, I need you to read the two essays I wrote and tell me if they're good enough for me to make a commentary channel on yt or if I should stick to keeping my essays here or to myself. It's just that I have so many things I wanna talk about and so many ideas and stuff so I was thinking of doing one of those commentary channel things that mostly focuses on fandom content and fandom spaces yk- but idk if I'm that good at wording my essays. Obviously they would be better if I didn't have the character limit restrictions but just as they stand now are they good or absolute shit.
I wanted to do a wlw ship for part 3 of the "its gay" series but I'm struggling so hard with finding a good one because
1. I have to know and like the ship
2. It can't be canon because that's not what I'm here to talk about
3. It has to have something to it that I can write a full essay about
Finding an mlm ship like that is so easy. I can do it right now. Johnlock, Hilson, Hannigraham, Spirk, Wrightworth, Riddlebird(Gotham). I could do this in my sleep.
But finding a wlw ship like that is like finding a needle in a haystack except it's a really small haystack and also there are no needles in it. Every mainstream wlw ship is either canon or I don't know or like it. And if I do happen to find one that isn't canon and I do like it it's hardly anything worth a full essay.
I could talk about Morgwen but I've already discussed a BBC Merlin ship yk. I think I might just give up looking and cover Johnlock like I originally planned.
Just the difference in the frequency between mainstream mlm ships and mainstream wlw ships. There are significantly more mlm ships and they are always significantly more popular than wlw ships. Good job, everyone, misogyny at it's finest.
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waking up after a failed attempt feels so weird.(yes i managed to not actually off myself, unfortunately. i tried.)
OH THABK GOD DREAMING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS
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Aaaa no don't be worried om
I only posted the warning because I wanted y'all to know what happened if I was gone I don't wanna worry any of you >< plus it's only me anyway
Dreaming don't even say that.
You're my friend I don't want you to die. I thought I would never see you again.
Please just talk to someone who can help you. I'm begging you.
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i want to fucking kil myself. My mother shouted at me for a fucking PEN. i didnt even do anything i asked tmy freind for a pen because mine leaked and i gave it back and she emssages me like "hey i dont have my pen do you have it cause i agve it to you?" and my mother keeps yelling at me for loosing somebody elses things WHEN I GAVE IT BACK. I GAVE IT BACK THAT GIRL PROBABLY LOST IT BY EHRSELF AT SCHOOL OR SOMETHING I DONT FUCKING KNOW? I VIVIDLY REMEMEBR GIVING IT BACK. and now im sitting here crying in my room because my own mother called me a stupid mindless beggar who doesnt understand the worth of anything. I'm going to commit tonight i swear to fucking god. If i dont respond tomorrow it means it worked. bye.
DREAMING NO
idk if this is gonna get to you but PLEASE do not kill yourself. I know how you feel, I get it. Nobody loves you and it would be better if you just went away, right? Everyone would be happier without you, right? It's never gonna get better so why put myself through it, right? I've been there. I've thought that way too. But it does get better. I know everyone says that and you never believe it because it feels like it only gets worse and worse, but trust me, it does.
Back when I wanted to die the mgm community is what kept me going. I kept posting on there even if I was the only one around because it gave me something to live for. Waiting for everyone else to come back. And then it got better. I moved to a new place and a new school. I made real friends. I still feel terrible sometimes, I still feel like I did before, but I haven't seriously considered killing myself for the longest time in a long time. It does get better. No matter how bad it is now. No matter how bad it continues to get. At some point it does get better. Even if it takes a while.
Please. You're one of the only friends I have left on here. We were supposed to make a show together, remember? Please just come back.
"GOT YOU!" is stuck in my head send help
"yo uh explain this question rq"
"alright so- CHASE DOWN MEW! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!
INAI NAI TEKA CHOUSHI DOU?
MITA KOTO NAI ANO POKEMON
ZETTAI KATTE SONDE GETTO DA ZE! YUH
DOKO NI MO INAI SHI MAJIME NA HANASHI
FUSHIGI NA ANO KO MAJI MABOROSHI?
SAGASHITENAI BASHO NANTE NAKUNAI? DASHI!
YADA MOU MURI KUNAI?
TADA REBERU AGARU DAKE
NONKI YOUKI MUJAKI NANDA TTE II NO!
POKESEN? GEESEN? SASUGA NI INAI KA W
"UNMEITE KI NA DEAI" KITAI SHITE
“AIGACCHUU!"
".. okay so how do i write that down."
"you're getting terminated, say goodbye."
vocaloid brainrot.
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Real. Also add:
"Flower doesn't let me watch those shows.."
"What...FLOWER COME HERE!!"
"Nani?"
"You don't let Oliver watch adult swim??"
"THose shows are too toxic for him!(In jp)"
"FLower for the last time speak english!"
"Yeah well who cares??"
"I care!!"
And:
"Hey len, didn't you have my xbox?"
"Yeah, ill check for it hold on."
*Rummaging noises*
"I don't see it"
"Yeha well I'll check"
*More rummaging noises*
"Hey what's thi--"
"DONT TOUCH THAT!"
"What? It's just a box it can't be that baaaaaAAAAAd...."
*Gasp*
"Len!? You're a furry!!????"
"Oh ym god..."
"Miku rin come here!!!"
"What?"
"Lens a furry!!!"
*Gasp*
"Ew."
"Why are you even surprised atp..."
me cause I don't have a record player, I don't have any vinyl records, I don't own all my favorite band albums, I don't have posters on my walls, I don't have an electric guitar in the corner of my room, I don't own a motorcycle, I don't have fingerless gloves that fit well, I don't have the clothes I want, I don't have a room with interesting colors, I don't have LED lights, I don't have fairy lights, I don't have a display case with all my stuff in it, I don't have a music cassette to put in my parent's old boombox, I don't know how to play the drums, I don't know how to write songs, I don't know how to do my makeup beyond eyeshadow and lipstick, and I'm really not nearly as cool as I think I am:
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So real actually
gimmie a few years ill get a job
js dont get jumpscared by all those items suddenly showing up outside ur window
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What.
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Felt girlypop today, put mehendi(or henna in english) on my hands
i havent put henna on my hands in like ages sobs
but WOOO YAYYAYA
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YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY
explodes violently
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nooooo bestieee
im now floating particles
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Aur naur
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Fun fact: in hinduism, there's an actual DAY which says "nah fuck studying" and you're not allowed to study that day. It's called "kalamband" which litterally translates to "pen close"
Slay Hinduism W
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REALLL like if you pick up a pen to study you have to endure your mother going "hey you know it's kalamband today you can't study" for the first time in your fucking life it's AMAZING. MAJORRR W
Me when I write a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but me cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again:
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what da dawg doin
It's writing a whole rant about a random gay ship that no one but it cares about for the third time before deciding it's worded badly and deleting it only to be too lazy to write it again.
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ah i see
i care
show. /nf
It took me days to write. Anyway!
So like Teen Wolf, right? It's a show that exists. Sterek, right? It's a ship in said show. Actually. The single most popular ship in the show. Actually. On ao3 it beats EVEN THE CHARACTER TAGS which is NOT a common thing. Like usually the top tag for a fandom is a character tag, but no, here it's THE SHIP STEREK.
Anyway- this is like this because like... I mean the evidence... let's just say it's understandable.
But the thing about this ship is that like- it is just so clearly queerbait, like they practically hand it to you on a silver platter, but for some reason the fandom is delusional and 100% convinced that it's totally queercoding.
Sterek is the slash ship between Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski. Derek Hale is a werewolf, Stiles is a regular degular guy. Both of their characters play off each other well since they contrast a little what with Stiles being an overcompensating know-it-all who uses sarcasm and humor to hide his insecurities and Derek being a stoic angry loner type who takes things a little too seriously. Because of this the characters were often paired for scenes and naturally the fandom started shipping them.
Then the show decided "hey... why don't we lean into this more."
So in season 2... wonderful, beautiful season 2... this lizard creature with the ability to paralyze people comes along. And... oh boy.
One scene worth pointing out is a scene where the lizard thing, called a Kanima, paralyzes both Derek and Stiles. In this scene, they JUST SO HAPPEN to fall ON TOP OF EACH OTHER, and it JUST SO HAPPENS that they fall in a particular manner in which Stiles is on top of Derek with his head on his shoulder and his chest on Derek's. They could've so easily had Stules fall NEXT TO Derek, or at least had him fall in a different position with less of a romantic connotation. But they didn't. And just to throw salt in the wound, the antagonist even says, when they demand that they no longer be on top of each other, that Derek and Stiles "make a pretty good pair"... I bet the writers room was fucking cackling.
Another very notable scene is one that's not played off as a joke unlike the first one. Derek is paralyzed, Stiles is not. The Kanima can't swim so there in the pool with it waiting outside, stalking them. Since Derek is paralyzed, Stiles has to be the one to keep him afloat in the pool so he doesn't drown. Derek mentions that Stiles is only keeping Derek alive out of necessity, basically saying that since Stiles is powerless he needs Derek to fight off the Kanima for him and that's the only reason he's keeping him afloat and not because he actually gives a shit. Stiles takes offense to this and so he leaves Derek and swims to shore to try to grab a phone to call for help. Stiles fails then goes back to save Derek from drowning. And... dude. He risked his life to prove to Derek that not only does he not need him to survive this, but also that he's not saving Derek out of any sort of necessity, no, he's saving Derek... because he actually fucking cares. And Derek has major trust issues so doing something like this, risking your life to prove you care, is like... dude. So obviously since this is an important character moment it's literally never brought up again and we move on from it and that's that. Sigh... of course.
Then in season 3, Stiles is now the antagonist. And up to this point Stiles and Derek's opinions on what to do with antagonists has been pretty much the same "why don't we just kill them" but now it's Stiles who's the antagonist and he's like "guys, if I lose myself completely, just kill me" because he's being possessed by the Nogitsune and isn't intentionally the antagonist ofc. But Derek, a man who has, up until this point, been pretty okay with murder, is suddenly like "guys no matter what, we can't kill Stiles"... what's with the switch up Derek... why are we changing opinions now? His change in behavior toward this is never addressed.
The other seasons continue with pretty much similar type shit. Derek and Stiles are often paired up for scenes. There are fleeting moments of mentioning how weird their relationship is, certain scenes that just seem so questionable that the directors and writers could've easily cut out or changed, and just thing after thing that is so clearly gay but also... not.
Then in the last season of the show, Stiles gets with Lydia Martin, a character he has been shown to be attracted to but up until now she hasn't really shown much reciprocation for these feelings except for fleeting moments. The relationship feels a little shoehorned in at the last season for fanservice. Then that was the end of it.
...until 2023 of course.
In 2023 they decided "hey guys why don't we do a movie" and everyone agreed except for the actor for Stiles. So the movie goes on without him. In the movie Stiles is clearly absent and this is explained in the movie by him being part of the FBI. This makes sense character wise and story wise.
We see in the movie that Derek now has a child. Who is the mother of said child? 🤷♀️. But I do know this. According to the casting director, the actor chosen for the child was chosen because he "reminded me of Stiles"... the actor for Derek's child... was picked because he reminded the casting director of Stiles... ha... haha...
Stiles's car is also in the movie. It's with Derek now. Yeah. And uh Derek is overprotective... of the car. One of the characters even states outwardly "that car meant a lot to Derek"... yeah... the car is what we're talking about here... sure.
This movie reads like fanfiction... and I don't think that's a coincidence.
We already know all the scenes and questionable choices that happened in the show, but to really make it clear why this is so queerbait we need to go behind the camera. Back to the Teen Wolf show.
During the Teen Choice Awards each show nominated was tasked with making a short video convincing teens to vote for them to win. Teen Wolf's video had... the actors for Stiles and Derek... sitting on a ship... practically all over each other... saying basically "vite for Teen Wolf and you might get to see our characters do more stuff like this"... 😰
I don't think I need to explain when I say that is just so clearly a queerbait move. Making an empty promise of queer rep in exchange for something that would get the creators of Teen Wolf more money... yeah that's literally queerbait. The definition of it actually.
Fast forward to the movie. Whenever it comes to Derek and Stiles the cast and crew and such always say things that are just bordering on gay, but never explicitly saying it. And this is in 2023. They're not gonna explode if they say the word gay on screen. But it's always avoidant of the topic it's always just shy of screaming gay, they can never quite say it. It's almost like... almost like they don't actually care and just want the money so they're giving the shippers crumbs while never giving them a full meal so they don't lose their homophobic audiences... but no that can't possible be... can it?
Yes it can. Yes it is. Sterek si the single most obvious clear as day representation of queerbait I have ever seen in my life and yet the random and shipper are either blissfully ignorant or just so so oblivious to the reality of the matter. Why do the creators always dance around the topic of Sterek? Why do the writers add unnecessary scenes that are a little odd to say the least only to then forget about those scenes and never bring them up again? Why do the directors shoot some scenes in specific questionable ways that are never directly addressed? Because it's all a big fat lie. A lie that everyone fell for, hook line and sinker.
Wow you didn't like my gay ship rant 😔 /j
SOTP I KEPT GETTING EMAILS THAT U REPLIED AND WAS LOOKING AT THE POSTS AT THE TOP
ILL READ IT AFTER MY EXAM TMRW :3
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If I get a majority saying yes I'll give y'all my smule account 💀
Whats a smule
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that one app where you can sing
ah. I have never heard of it.
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eveyrone excited for halloween:
me sitting here, ECSATIC in my chair cause diwali is tomorrow(i dont celebrate halloween):
idk if this is like a weird question or what, but does Diwali take place on the same time every year or does it like change?
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No the dates may be different but it always comes in the same season according to the Hindu calander at the kartik amavasya which is the new moon of the season of kartik(spetember end-october end if I'm not mistaken I might have to ask my mother) so kinda
oh cool another question. What is Diwali about? I heard of it but I don't really know much sorry
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ooo okay how the fuck do i explain this cause you'd have to know alot about hindu mythology(dear god im forced to call it a mythology) first of all-
help i feel the need to js explain the entire ramayana to you because the online sources get it so wrong and i practically CAN'T get it wrong because
1.My mother is going to kill me if i get something wrong
2.we litterally HAVE the reprint of the ORIGINAL book in our house so.
you don't have to explain it to me if you don't want to haha, I was just curious I guess
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ehe <3
Exam so bad it has me looking like this:
I literally failed so miserably I can't even rn. The dude next to me kept looking at my paper and cheating from me and I'm just like "dude... I don't think you wanna do that"
Well. No one to blame but himself I guess.
me w igcse physics because what the fuck was that theory paper
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weird sensations i never knew I'd experience, part 1:
remember how i chipped part of my two front teeth? yeah uh. I now understand what my teacher meant when she said that teeth have nerves inside them. Because now everytime i eat or drink something i feel this very weird..oddly-sweet(?) sensation on(?) my teeth and it's like my body's saying "ayo tf? how is the food TOUCHING the nerves?" yeah uh, sorry body, thats kinda on me :upsidedown-face:
OOF that makes me uncomfy just thinking abt it
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It's not that bad actually
really? I've never chipped a tooth before, so.
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yeah it feels lowkey sweet
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sigggh
first pneumonia, then something that feels like covid, now this
WHEN I SAID I WAS GODS GREATEST SOLDIER I DID NOT MEAN IT TOUCH OF DEATH
yeah so today while returning from the ground in school i tripped and fell and broke a peice of my two front teeth.
i am actually going to cry i cant.
kill me already omg
i dont even want to speak anymore
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Komi-san Can't Communicate except instead of having sociophobia she's just REALLY insecure about her broken teeth from an accident..
💀💀
Seriously r u ok?
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if somebody tells me one more fucking time that "nobody's going to notice" i will actually jump is2g do you KNOW the kids in my class?? knowing them I'll probably get bullied till the day i DIE and plus i look so bad too i wouldnt even blame them cause i'd want to bully myself for looking like this too real
yeah so i think im just going to become Komi now. i already look like her(minus the pale skin cause im not Japanese) so i think i'll just ocmmunicate with a notebook until i meet my tadano :disappointed-relieved:
RIP but honestly real teenagers make fun of anything atp
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Real like last time I remember I got bullied for liking anime by this little nerd ass bitch who's like half my height and I could probably punt him to the sun
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ITS CANON!?????!/1?!?!?!?!??!?!?!/!?!?!/1/1?!?1//1/!?!?(well no it isnt cause ik you assagiri BUT STILL HOLY SHIT?)
oh my god OH MY GOD OHMYGODOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGM ITS CANOCNONAONCOASNO NOANSCO
THANK YOU HOSHIKAWA-SAN!11!!!!1!(and asagiri but im still salty abt the new chapters)
hand over the name right NEOW. /nf
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well it IS Bungou stray dogs (but the Dazai, Chuuya, 15 opne) but js so yknow they arent actually canon but this manga panel is canon which makes it borderline canon.
Lol, I crashed omw home from school
Luckily not badly injured, and I didn't hit my head cause I caught myself on my hands, but yea lol
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Aur naur are u ok
Yea just bruised and a couple of scratches. No severe injuries or anything. My bruises hurt pretty bad but I was able to limit the swelling and they're not very clear so from the outside looking in as long as you ignore the plaster, it's like nothing ever even happened. Still hurts but whatever, the pain should go in about 3 days maybe 4 because school might force me to walk and be more active which can make the bruise worse.
WHAT .
ARE YOU OKAY?? IS EVERYONE ELSE OKAY TOO
yeah I'm good and no one else was involved in the crash dw. Just me being stupid and going too fast on my scooter.
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I feel like my vocal cords have been ripped out of my throat.
That is not good
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It's a normal Tuesday for me 🤷🏻 it happens sometimes
That is even worse
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Ig it is 🤷🏻
But now I'm wearing a mask and going to a doctor and it feels like COVID is back HELPP
Pneumonia then covid. You're really going through it rn
i felt hungry sorry :(
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gurl.
did u just ated my vocalo chords /hj
I love vflower so much RAAAAAAAAH
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REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL
do you ever just
Hora mite yo hora furete yo
Bon'you na fuku o sutesatte
Ima sanagi kara chou ni naru no
Ari no mama subete misetsukete
Samekitta butai enja wa inai
Nara suteppu kizande 1,2,3
Odorasareru nja nai
odoru no yo saa saa saa kurutte
YES i feel like she's underrated sobs I LOVE HER
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REAL REAL REAL RELA
i need to find an empty place to scream and cry in
like an endless rage room, they need to make those.
i haven't cried properly in ages because i'm worried someone will walk in and it'll be awkward :T
I would go to an infinite rage room. I need it.
Also I usually just cry as quietly as possible while everyone else is asleep.
I love how this is me everytime any sort of traumatic event happens to me: haha lol someone broke into my house while I was in the bathroom lmao, it's a good thing they didn't check in there, would hate for them to catch me with my pants down haha get it? Get it? I know I'm crying from pure terror, ignore that, is the joke funny or not?
The depression brings about whimsy because it's the only thing that keeps me from totally falling apart.
ARE YOU OKAY?? LIKE DID YOU MENTALLY CALM DOWN, DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW AND STUFF D:
urgh omw to give you a hug that's a terrifying situation.
it didn't actually happen. I don't think. Just my brain hearing noises outside and going "Yep that's someone here to kill you." It happens dw no one broke in
But I definitely did think someone did and I even texted my friend while crying 100% convinced I was gonna die. And I made that exact same joke. About getting caught with my pants down. I actually made multiple jokes. A concerning amount for someone who thought they were about to die.
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Lowkey I hate the fact that I had to verify my email again
Cus I use my mother's phone and her email storage was full so when I cleared all that itch just hit me with a "Hey girlie!☺️ You're not getting your account back."
SO I HAD TO MAKE A NEW ONE AND SPENT LIKE 1000+ HOURS LOOKING FOR THIS GROUP AGAIN FROM THE OLD COMMENTS ON MGM BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE IT BOOKMARKED ON CHROME
PLUS I JUST CAME BACK RORM THE HOSPITALA
AHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHGGG I WANNA KMS AAAAA
Omg 😭😭😭
I'm so sorry, did you bookmark this place tho? So you don't have to do that again I mean
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Yeah I did this time I am NOT going through that again
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Uh
Is everyone ok.
Well take this art I'm making of beast!chuuya on rblx ig
I am not okay because school but that looks amazing!
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Dang school must suck for you then :(
BUt tyyyyy
It does fr I am suffering dude SUFFERING
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aur naur
(i started madoka magica :p)
KEWL
my biggest problem is just hw. I hate hw. I hardly have enough free time as it is.
HI DREAMING!!!!!
HIW HAVR YOU BEEN
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I HAVE BEEN SUFFERING IN THE HOSPITAL BUT OKAY IG!!1!!!11!!1
OH 😞 GLAD YOU'RE BETTER NOW
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Me when I just came back from the hospital and see almost everyone going insane(I lost my account):
HOSPITAL WTF HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY
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Yeah, I'm fine(mostly) I had pneumonia ;-;
We're good though :P
I actually also came back to Twitter somehow after coming back from the hospital, and all I see on threads is that mii yeah! Thing and I'm Like--
"Wh... Is that..."
"..HATSUNE MIKU!?"
WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT PNEUMONIA LIKE "oh yeah it was nothing" BRO PNEUMONIA CAN BE FATAL (I say like that isn't literally the exact way I talked about that one time I almost died)
I am no on twitter so I have no clue 😁
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im fine reallyy it wasnt that bad
oh elon musk removed the like option so now everyone's using different versions of the MII "Yeah!" thing and i keep seeing the hatsune miku version..
So it was just like a mild case
oh wow, A-short Perfume really is just destroying twitter atp.
How's it going everypony?
I'm sure you can already tell, but I am not doing good! In fact, I'm doing very very shit rn! School is kicking my ass, the ACTs are kicking my ass, my entire life is kicking my fucking ass.
So, needless to say, I am this fucking close to losing my shit, but it's okay! I can always go find it later! Anyway, I need to go scream and cry into my pillow for the next hour.
Goodbye, everypony!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
haiii guys :3…
It is really difficult to resist the urge to be mean sometimes.
Like the other day my class was in the gc talking about colors for our senior uniform next year (the seniors get a specialized uniform and other perks and such) and I was trying to push for a CMYK color pallette but my class pretty much ignored my existence so whatever, I stopped caring and let them decide amongst themselves. They're big boys they can deal with it.
That's when someone privately messaged me. This bitch named Karma who was all like "I'm sure you know who I am" like- okay, whatever, Karma. And she's all like "did you vote for the uniform color?" So I said no.
She then said to look at the colors and see which one I liked best, and the contest was between these two colors, blue and purple. I went blue because I like it more than purple and if I'm pushing for CMYK, it is in my interest to pick the blue. I tell her this and she's like "oh but... don't you wanna pick the purple though?"
Oh is that what this is? You're not being all nice to me and asking if I voted because you actually care. You just want me to vote for the one you want. Okay, Karma. Fine. I'll vote for the purple if it'll make you shut the fuck up.
Is what I would have said if I wasn't trying to be nice. So I just went "okay purple ig" and voted purple. Then ignored her "thank you" message cause, frankly, you couldn't pay me to give a shit.
I had to actively resist calling every single one of my classmates brain dead assholes yesterday. They're all actually so annoying and I could keep telling stories about how much they piss me off, but I think you get the point.
If only saying "how the fuck did you make it past third grade" was okay.
can i like
strangle her she sounds like an absolute bitch /nay
purple uniforms give me trauma RAAAAHHHH (iykyk)
trust me if I could strangle her I would. She was absent today tho yay!
Also, real. I wish I stayed another year or something so you wouldn't have had to be there alone. Oh well.
meow
I'm so hungy :(
arf arf (idk either)
meow
ARF ARF ARF
GRRRRRR 😡😡
ARF ARF 🤬😡🤬
HISSSS MEOWWW D:<
GRRRRRRRRR GRRRR 😡😡😡
MEOWWWWW HISSSSSS
IM ALIVE WHO CHEERED
after like years sobs
Hola
Welcome back to the land of the living
omg i didnt know u kept a picture of me woah /j
yeah it's from the cameras I hid in your house- I mean... what? 😁
I CHEERED!! HI HELLO HII HI
HII WAVES
HIIIII WAVES
How it feels being here alone:
HEY HEY UR NOT ALONE 🙋♀️
YOUVE JUST BEEN SILENT THIS WHOLE TIME 😭😭😭
NOOO LMAO I JUST BASICALLG CAME BACK IVE BEEN SO BUSY 😭😭
Wow. I have been pretty busy too I have to study for like the ACTs and such and idek if I'm gonna end up getting a spot or if they're all taken.
yall I'm so done with school fr. So fucking done.
Me when the show has SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be SO GOOD but the writers are just so fucking terrible-
Miraculous Ladybug (at this point the show is a joke and it kills me that it could've been a lot more than what it is)
Voltron (imagine killing all your characters both metaphorically and physically and the only characters you didn't kill are characters who were hardly even characters in the first place)
Star vs the Forces of Evil (sigh... no comment.)
Glee (as much as this show is... certainly a show and everyone loves to shit on it you can't deny that the idea itself COULD have been actually good)
Stranger Things (needs a whole essay by itself cause... yikes)
Old Man McGucket: a Character Analysis
I'm going to preface this essay by saying, I have not read any of the books except for screenshots from people who actually have them, so this essay is strictly going to be about the show and maybe like... five book pages idk-
Spoilers, duh. But the essay is better if you haven't watched the show, but don't read it if you're ever planning to. This is like majorly important plot spoilers.
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Old Man McGucket. The crazy old guy who actually turns out to have a hell of a lot of plot relevance in a crazy twist that was foreshadowed in a way that people generally overlooked as "crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show". Wait a minute...
(vine boom goes here)
Yeah, McGucket and Simon are pretty similar for multiple reasons. But we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about the incredibly dark reality of Old Man McGucket. A man who didn't lose his mind, but instead, locked it away himself.
THE SHOW:
We are introduced to McGucket in the second episode of the first season, The Legend of the Gobblewonker. Grunkle Stan drags Dipper and Mabel to go fishing with him, as they're there, they see this crazy old man screaming about something called a "Gobblewonker" a strange Loch Ness Monster type creature that hides out on a mysterious island off the shore. Everyone calls him crazy, but Dipper and Mabel decide to go hunt down this Gobblewonker and take a picture of it to win a photo contest, ditching Grunkle Stan in the process. Eventually they learn that the "Gobblewonker" isn't actually real, but instead a robot made by the crazy old guy at the start in order to get attention from his son. This crazy old guy is Old Man McGucket.
Immediately from this first episode intro we learn a couple of things about Old Man McGucket. He has a son, who is never mentioned ever again in the show. His wife left him. He has a knack for machinery. He's generally viewed as crazy by the characters, and, let's be honest... he is. Now immediately you have a couple of questions. Why is this crazy old guy a robot genius? He doesn't seem like a mad scientist type, more like a hillbilly. So what's up with that? Good question. Keep that in your pocket for now.
For the rest of the season McGucket never really shows up in any prominent roles. He's really just a crazy old hillbilly prospector-y guy who just so happens to be pretty good with machines. It's not really questioned. It is brought up multiple times, but otherwise ignored. So, whatever. Crazy shenanigans from the crazy shenanigans show, right? Well not this crazy shenanigans show, because, ultimately, Gravity Falls is made for theorists and mystery solvers. Encoded messages. Hidden clues. Itty bitty details that all allude to the bigger picture. The solution to the question... what is going on in Gravity Falls? That and who wrote The Journals, but that's not the point.
The point is that the Gravity Falls fandom is full of people who look into every little detail to solve mysteries. So McGucket being good with machines? No way that's just a crazy shenanigan.
So, what do we know about the author of the journals? He had six fingers. He was good with machines. He's probably been in Gravity Falls for a while. And Journal 3 is his last journal he was writing before he mysteriously... stopped.
McGucket fits two of those. Good with machines and lived in Gravity Falls for a while. But... we can reasonably make him fit the other two. Six fingers? His right arm is in a cast. Maybe he used to have six fingers, maybe something happened. Writing mysteriously stopped? McGucket is repeatedly shown to be basically insane so... maybe that's why he stopped writing the journals. Because something so horrific and terrible happened to him that he lost his mind, and so he stopped writing. That's it. All the signs point to-
Oh. Nevermind then.
Now that the theory is no longer that McGucket is the author of the journals, and instead it's Stan's secret twin brother... then who is McGucket?
For that... we need to look at season 2.
Specifically the episodes 2, 4, and 7.
Season 2, episode 2, Into the Bunker is partially an episode about Dipper's crush on Wendy and partially a lore episode. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy head on an adventure to find the author of the journals's secret hideout, which is apparently in a tree. They find it and make it in. While down there they find a shapeshifting monster that tries to kill them and steal Journal 3. They escape, trapping the monster in a cryochamber and immediately leaving the secret hideout. On the way out, Soos managed to grab what he thought was a briefcase. As it turns out, the "briefcase" was, in fact, an only slightly wrecked laptop with the words "Property of F" written at the top. Soos says he can fix it and that's the episode. (Minus Wendy and Dipper stuff)
Season 2, episode 4, Sock Opera. Soos has finally fixed the laptop so now all Dipper and Mabel need to do is open it and they'll figure it all out. The author of the journals, the secrets of Gravity Falls, all of it at the click of a button! Exceepptt the laptop is unfortunately password locked. An eight letter word is between them and... essentially, everything the show has built up toward. Mabel gets distracted making a sock opera to impress a boy, and in an act of desperation, Dipper makes a deal with Bill Cipher, the main antagonist of the entire show, for a vessel in exchange for the password to the laptop. Bill takes over Dipper's body and immediately smashes the laptop thereby destroying any chance of opening it and we never find out the password. Bill is defeated in the end, but the laptop is destroyed and they're no closer to finding the author of the journals than before. Or are they? (Vsauce music starts)
Season 2. Episode 7. Society of the Blind Eye. We open on Lazy Susan closing up the diner. We see her kick out some rats, and Old Man McGucket from underneath a table, then on her way out she sees the gnomes from episode one stealing her pie. She's shocked, startled, bamboozled, but before she can really react a bunch of people wearing red coats just... take her away. Then the opening plays.
We're back to Mabel and Dipper trying to find the author of the journals, and upon closer inspection of the destroyed laptop that supposedly belonged to the author, they see a branding thing on it. This little piece of metal that says "McGucket Labs" so they piece together that McGucket could be the author of the journals. His first name is Fiddleford (I think this is the first time we learn that in the show), and the laptop says "Property of F", and all the evidence adds up. Of course, most of the fandom by now has moved on from the McGucket theory. So there's no way that's all there is to this episode. Of course not. That'd be incredibly stupid and a huge waste of time covering this episode.
So Mabel and Dipper go running to find McGucket. They find him with his house being vandalized by teens writing the words "Mc Suck-it" and McGucket promptly shooing them off his property. Dipper tells McGucket to drop the act and that he knows who he is, but McGucket says he hardly remembers anything. So they got to the last place he can recall in his memory which is the museum.
At the museum they discover a secret passageway which leads them to a secret meeting between a bunch of people in red robes. They all watch as the robed men erase Lazy Susan's memory of the gnomes with some weird looking ray gun. They conclude that the weird robed guys are the reason McGucket can't remember anything. That they did something to him to make him the way he is. So they resolve to find McGucket's memories and bring them back so he can remember everything.
After fighting the Blind Eye Society and then erasing all their memories of the society ever existing, they finally go to watch McGucket's memories and figure out everything that happened. And this... is where everything is revealed.
They play the memories, and we see a young man on screen. He's wearing glasses, a blazer and tie, and looks to be of good health and sound mind. He introduces himself as Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. He explains that he, for the past year, has been helping this scientist, the author of the journals, build some kind of... machine. But... something went wrong. Something terrible. So terrible that it haunts McGucket every day. So he invented something. Something to erase this terrible memory of what he helped build. The ray gun that the Blind Eye Society used. The very first thing he erases from his mind is erased right in front of us. He erases... "Fiddleford". The very first thing McGucket took away from his own brain... is himself.
We watch him come up with the Society of the Blind Eye. A society made to help people forget the terrible things they've seen. To help everyone live in blissful ignorance of what's really going on in Gravity Falls. The zombies. The gnomes. Everything.
We watch as McGucket erases more of his memories. We watch him get older, we watch his hair grey, we watch his beard grow, his glasses break and eventually disappear. We watch as he starts to forget words, talk faster. We watch him progressively lose his mind more and more. We watch him erase his own memories... to the point of no return. No one did this to McGucket. He did this to himself.
But... what happened to drive him to such drastic measures? What made him become so paranoid and so scared that he locked his memories away in hopes of never thinking about it again? What did McGucket see?
For that... we need to go back. Way back.
FIDDLEFORD HADRON MCGUCKET:
Fiddleford McGucket. Grew up on a hog farm in Tennessee with, well, not exactly what you call a lot of money.
He was, however, skilled in mechanics, and was pretty smart, which got him into Backupsmore University in the mid-1970s where he met Stanford Pines. The author of the journals and the twin brother of Stanley Pines. After he graduated he made his own computer business called "Fiddleford Computermajigs" but in the middle of his work he received a call from Ford saying he needed a mechanical genius to help him build a transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex in his basement in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Fiddleford agrees, leaving his wife and son behind.
From then on, Fiddleford was Ford's research assistant. He helped Ford with all of his studies and any machine building needs, and even was so nice as to get him a Christmas present, yet forgot to get one for his actual wife. By the way, the password to his laptop, the one found in the bunker, was "Stanford" which is certainly a choice. But we're not here to talk about doomed old man yaoi, back to the normal conversation.
So, while Fiddleford was working with Ford, a Gremloblin, half goblin, half gremlin, attacks Fiddleford staring him right in the eyes which makes him see his worst nightmare. We don't actually know what Fiddleford saw in the Gremloblin's eyes. But we do know how it affected him. In the physical copy of Journal 3 we learn more. Stanford writes that he's been worried about Fiddleford since his encounter with the Gremloblin, saying that he hasn't slept or even fixed his Rubik's Cube since then. He tells Fiddleford to "use his creativity to solve his problems" intending to talk about meditation and such, but as we know... Fiddleford didn't quite take it like that. He used his creativity alright. He used it to build the mind eraser gun. Soon enough Fiddleford started to rely on the gun for everything. Every bad memory, every painful experience, everything he just didn't want to think about anymore. It worked like a drug, and boy, was Fiddleford an addict.
When Ford confronted him, Fiddleford, instead of dealing with his problems, simply erased Ford's memory of the gun entirely so he could use it freely without Ford knowing. Ford, of course, already wrote about the gun in the journal, so while he forgot about it, it was written down so he knew it existed. It's also implied that Fiddleford used the gun multiple times on Ford.
Nonetheless construction continues on the transuniversal poly-dimensional metavortex. During a test run where they sent a dummy into the metavotrex, Fiddleford's leg got caught on the rope and he was therefore dragged through the metavortex, seeing the other side briefly before Ford saved him.
Once he emerged, Ford asked what he saw and Fiddleford immediately told Ford that the portal was in fact dangerous and he never should've built it in the first place. He said it would bring about the end of the world and to "fear the beast with just one eye"
What? This guy? He's a floating dorito chip, I'm sure he's harmless...
(He's wanted in the entire multiverse.)
So, Fiddleford quits the project saying he'd "just as soon forget" and so... he erased his mind of what he saw on the other side of the portal. And he started... the society of the blind eye. In Journal 3, Ford writes about how he's had weird dreams of Fiddleford looming in the dark with a red robe on, and he wonders if they were really just dreams. Fiddleford has probably erased a lot from Ford's mind and plenty of the townsfolk, but to no degree near what he's erased from his own mind.
It only got worse. And worse. And worse. Until he, of course, became the Old Man McGucket we see at the start of the show. Of course, he still retains just a little bit of his former identity, before he became what he is. This shows in his skill with mechanical engineering, and also his knowledge of things like the Gobblewonker. Even in this... state, he can't ever truly forget everything he's tried so hard to.
Fiddleford went through a great trauma that left him mentally unwell, and how did he cope? By shoving it all into a high security prison in the corner of his mind where he never had to think about any of it ever again. This of course is a terrible coping mechanism because, none of it is actually ever gone... it's just hidden from view. And it'll never be fully gone of course, but shoving it away only makes it worse, like prisoners working out and getting super buff in prison.
All of this damaged McGucket's brain so badly that the memory gun couldn't even be used on him anymore. That's how bad it got.
In The Book Of Bill, Bill actually talks about an attempt to possess Fiddleford. And this... is what urged me to write this essay. Bill Cipher, the person who literally laughs at pain, like literally laughs, he enjoys it, went into Fiddleford's mind and he says that he's never been in a mind so damaged, so broken, so shattered beyond repair, that it actually hurt. And, in his words, "for the first time, I felt a pain that wasn't funny."
Bill Cipher, the guy who finds great pleasure in being a manipulative asshole and TORTURING PEOPLE, said this. The unimaginable pain and suffering McGucket must be going through, the torture that was inflicted on him as well as the torture he inflicted upon himself... it was so bad, that not even Bill Cipher could laugh. What was originally just a crazy old guy with possible ties to the Author... turned out to be a deeply damaged and traumatized man.
This is the most tragic character in Gravity Falls. I don't even know how to end this essay... I can't even make a joke.
I really need to finish reading Hitchiker's Guide because it's melting my brain with thoughts of it and yet I still haven't picked the book up in days.
i might babble a bit too much but i can NOT get over this performance. well the entire tour itself, but the iconic 1989 tour in 2014-2015. honestly this WAS her best vocal tour recorded. not eras, not reputation, not speak now, not red, and not fearless, but 1989 honestly will always be my favorite vocal concert of taylor’s. her voice was so young but so STRONG at the same time, and sadly she did hurt her vocals to make such rough notes while she sang at this concert but like
this just proves WHY people call her the music industry. she was only 26, and she was singing CRAZY vocals, and with only FIVE albums released. either way, she had been making records SINCE 2007 when she released debut. literally 2009 and she’s selling out STADIUMS for her second album, and she was TWENTY. insane, it will always blow my mind. but let’s focus on 1989 rn
so 1989 era was really a handful, since during it she went through her ED, and she was JUST beginning to release her pop music, like 1989 was her first pop album after doing mostly country for 8 years. but the concert oh my GOD i would’ve died if i could’ve gone…my cousin went she calls it a fuckin’ fever dream dude 😭, like yes, movie/documentary is VERY badly edited and all but like
the VOCALS people, the VOCALS.
take example one of her most iconic performances till this fucking day
(4.55)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uTs6GcImbMI&pp=ygUab3V0IG9mIHRoZSB3b29kcyAxOTg5IHRvdXI%3D
like wow, it never fails to actually shock me to how good she sounds. this was the best bridge before any of her newer albums came out, but the way she sings so loud and so powerful is just like chilling everytime i listen to it
i could write an essay based on this fucking performance SOLEY, THATS how good it is. not a lot of singers are labeled; “THE music industry” at the age of 26. and since then, she’s maintained that title with other amazing albums…she recorded NINE albums in FIVE years while touring and filming TWO documentaries. that is WHAT the music industry does. but 1989 era oh my god what a time that was
don’t even get me started on reputation and eras tour like those
they literally
like.
wow.
mind boggling.
but yeah she’s my favorite artist for a reason lmao 😭
im also starting to listen to noah kahan and honestly he’s a pretty good artist
i like his lyrics
i’ve also started listening to gigi perez
she’s so good
Imagine my power if I didn't have the restraint of a character limit. I could write hour long essays about so many topics everyone would block me.
i’m afraid this has happened too me!
Oh wow, the character limit is like my biggest enemy rn, but I just need confirmation. Listen, I need you to read the two essays I wrote and tell me if they're good enough for me to make a commentary channel on yt or if I should stick to keeping my essays here or to myself. It's just that I have so many things I wanna talk about and so many ideas and stuff so I was thinking of doing one of those commentary channel things that mostly focuses on fandom content and fandom spaces yk- but idk if I'm that good at wording my essays. Obviously they would be better if I didn't have the character limit restrictions but just as they stand now are they good or absolute shit.
okay! i’ll read them rn
I wanted to do a wlw ship for part 3 of the "its gay" series but I'm struggling so hard with finding a good one because
1. I have to know and like the ship
2. It can't be canon because that's not what I'm here to talk about
3. It has to have something to it that I can write a full essay about
Finding an mlm ship like that is so easy. I can do it right now. Johnlock, Hilson, Hannigraham, Spirk, Wrightworth, Riddlebird(Gotham). I could do this in my sleep.
But finding a wlw ship like that is like finding a needle in a haystack except it's a really small haystack and also there are no needles in it. Every mainstream wlw ship is either canon or I don't know or like it. And if I do happen to find one that isn't canon and I do like it it's hardly anything worth a full essay.
I could talk about Morgwen but I've already discussed a BBC Merlin ship yk. I think I might just give up looking and cover Johnlock like I originally planned.
Just the difference in the frequency between mainstream mlm ships and mainstream wlw ships. There are significantly more mlm ships and they are always significantly more popular than wlw ships. Good job, everyone, misogyny at it's finest.